After both of us getting nasty bacterial infections from multiple lovers... and yes condoms were used.
we kinda looked at each other.. and stopped the adventure.
In the course, if this, a Dr put me on Cipro. Results were pain in legs, mental instability in thinking and a nasty 4-day flue. And this was a week after stopping that , what should be an illegal drug.
Now 4 weeks later walking is difficult and the body is not the same. I am seeing an acupuncturist and learning to limit life to just not live in pain. I also will never see another Dr unless there is a spear lodged in my skull.
I came a little to close to death on this one. Speaking from what I sensed in me.
So, just us now,, and simple, and easy , a talk about weather, family and what show to watch next or what album to listen to.
For some couples, the open relationship works. I thought truly I could handle it. After all, I write books and do lectures on nonduality. But this.. this... was just too much. I felt like it ripped me out of the peace I lived in and enjoyed too much.
We both tried it and stamped it. What is next.. who knows...but I sense a stronger hold with her as we learned to face each other directly and talk so well together.
There still may be a wanting on her end for this, I am not sure. This is something we will talk about once again after we heal. She like many likes the idea of having both, as we all do. But when the rubber hits the road and it goes from thoughts to reality its a whole different game.
We did talk about holding onto friends, tea, and talk.. just leave the sex out of it.
Love is about resting into the peace of what is there, seeing that and enjoying. We have so many cherished moments and great events and family that can be colored for so long to enjoy. SO, for now, the rollercoaster ride of emotions will be closed.
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Photo by RODOLFO BARRETO on Unsplash