Think With Me: Perfectionism & Steemit - Where Did My Muse Go?

in #writing6 years ago (edited)

I am blocked. In the past two weeks, words just refuse to come out like they usually do. There's good reason for it, as always. Personal life stress like moving apartments and challenges in relationships are not very conducive to creativity and motivation. At least not for me.

The "I don't have time" excuse is just that. If I can find to help out random newbies on Discord or curate content manually - I have the time to write a good post.

So I find myself living on the blockchain with a block of a different kind, making my impact in other ways without updating my blog. Which means I am currently back to (only) writing for a living and when it's absolutely necessary for a business goal or function.

But why is that? Where did my muse, the one that promised you daily posts many months ago, wander off to?

What is Good Enough & Why It Matters

As a content creator on this blockchain, I want to give you perfection and top notch quality content not only because it's how I want to be perceived, but mostly because I feel ashamed getting a relatively high payout for a selfie or similar zero-effort content while other authors fight to get recognized for good hard work. This impacts me significantly. With over 3,000 followers (with at least 100 active readers among them), posting something that is below what I consider worthy of reward is just... lame.

So I avoid posting selfies and stupid jokes, obviously, because those are the basic standards I set for myself (for the most part). I also know perfectly well that perfection is but an ideal that cannot be reached, and whatever I type up will still be better than at least half the shitposts in Trending.

If so, why am I not creating good content like I used to? Did it stop being good enough?

I know my quality hasn't dropped. If it did, I'd know about it from @elear and my teammates at Utopian.io. I can still type something that is fun to read even if the topic isn't the most exciting one. So what changed?

What "Perfectionism" Is Hiding

I don't see perfectionism as a positive trait because I perceive it as a form of anxiety. We're afraid that our best is not good enough, or that someone else's best is somehow tainted away from perfection. This leads me to believe that one of the main reasons for this writers' block of mine is the overall raised state of anxiety I've been in for the past months.

Between how challenging work is, some unpleasant heartbreak and moving apartments (less than 2 weeks from today Gods help me), it's no wonder I approach writing with an elevated level of anxiety that presents itself as perfectionism. My confidence has taken a few blows and my brain is full of crap, so I don't trust myself to create - to write.

How do I fix this?

People who know me personally will tell you that nothing frustrates me more than an unsolved problem. Obviously, I want this block gone. I want to publish new chapters to @mistress, write that Open Source Marketing blog series and even contribute something creative and not only functional to Utopian.io. So how do I fight it, now that I know what some of the underlying causes are?

The perfect answer to that is far too complex, and is so mercurial that it might change in a week or two. For example, the last time I moved homes, one of the side-effects was quitting steemit for a while. A move is a change. I just need to figure out how I can use this change to empower my writing on this platform instead of killing it dead.

Another potential answer is posts like this one. Long and tedious conversations with myself trying to understand what it is about my emotional state that is making me creatively stuck. I've seen a share of those on the blockchain, so I wouldn't be the first.

I can probably think of a few more potential solutions to my current creative stagnation, but I would like to know what you think. Tell me in the comments - how do you manage perfectionism, writers' blocks and life getting in the way of steeming?

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Oh god, I feel you. I've stopped posting daily because I started working on my bachelor thesis (in February) and thought I could come back after that. But I've been never been so blocked!

I tried to "fix" it by just posting things with lower quality on my spam blog, but that didn't help at all - now I can't even produce anything for THAT anymore!

It doesnt have to be too serious, anything that springs to mind. I wrote about finding money outside on the ground once, things that people DONT write about because they are 'out there' are often the most interesting.

I hope after the dust settles from the move, the change it brings will be overall good, and you can get back to writing.

I actually had a bout of creativity a few nights ago, lying in bed unable to sleep, thinking of different ways to tackle conversations in stories in general, and specifically in the one I've been trying to write. And it has largely been affected by conversations I've had during this recent shitstorm in my life.

Ok...I have this covered.
Firstly, buy a caravan. That way, you wouldn't have to keep moving home, you could just move your home instead and thus there would be reduced stress and you wouldn't need to keep taking Steemit breaks.
Secondly, go for posting selfies. As a particularly fickle and shallow individual, I like looking at girls in specs and pink hair, and trust me, there are far too few in this community. At one time I set up www.hotgirlsinspecswithpinkhair.com but apart from a blind guy in a pink wig who thought it was a disability support group, no one joined.
I for one get bored reading high falutin shite from pseudo intellectuals on here so there is definitely a place for some light relief. I wish more people would use this platform more as social media rather than thinking they have to just post complicated philosophical nonsense.
Chill, get your mojo back, and become irreverent. Only you are suffocating yourself with YOUR OWN high standards, I think I can safely speak for the rest of your fans when I say 'we don't give a fuck what you post'. As long as you post and you write about what you love. We just like you, and you're not the sum of your work.
Right, get on with it lady, pep talk over ;-)

Life getting in the way is a tough one. I haven't figured out how to deal with that, but hey a break now and then is probably a good thing.

When I get writers block I look for inspiration in challenges. There are amazing ones for all tastes on Steemit and I am sure they will get you motivated.

After all of this join thewritersblock . Talks over there have known to both cause and help with writer's block.

I feel you. change is like food for creativity, takes time to digest. and when you are established in a routine, the effect of the changes start seeping into your work. at least that's my experience.

moving sucks. it can seriously disrupt all the things a person has going on. I don't have much to offer on advice tho. Here in Alaska we are so much daylight and midnight sun I don't know my ups from downs right now. I hope all goes well. May you find your Muse!

You have correctly understood that writer's block is about anxiety so get around it by writing something that isn't goal-oriented, maybe even random biographical or whatever. Even if it seems shitposty to you, run it past someone you respect to be honest and if they pass it, post it. That's the old "be like water" trick, flow around the obstacle on a new route

Don’t have anything to write about -writes about not having anything to write about... well played techslut, well played.

This is exactly my problem! I have been writing great content on my blog for free but just because of this perfectionist mindset, I couldn't write consistently.
www.alsoknownasbeautiful.com GitHub is my website