I often ponder what makes me, me.
It's a tricky question that leads to a subject that might make one feel uncomfortable. The truth is that the more you open to someone, you knowingly make yourself susceptible to their projections that may or may not have a solid ground. Familiarity breeds contempt. Assumptions, premature judgments, observations that can weave an imprecise story solely based just on outward appearances.
I only know I exist. This identity diffusion often boggles my mind. I am not sure who I am exactly, this changes every so often, so I don't know anymore how is it possible to be oneself.
However, it’s reasonable that a reader would like to know more about the author behind the words, so without further ado, here are some things that make me, me for the time being.
Physically
• I have dimples •
Two dimples on one cheek, a chin dimple, a shoulder dimple and dimples on my lower back. These precisely placed dimples have been with me since day one.
• I look younger than my actual age •
I’ve never met anyone who didn't ask me twice if I am lying about my age.
• My pupils dilate and eyes turn solid black when I am irritated •
Quirky difference that can go unnoticed if one is not observant enough.
• I shake my right leg when I am standing still •
Sometimes even when I am asleep.
Emotionally
• I am terrified – utterly terrified of chickens •
I have this intense fear that chickens will peck my eyes out at any given moment. There is no explanation for my fear, your guess is as good as mine.
• I switch between sarcasm and honest communication in a blink •
Sarcasm has never been an issue per say. I mainly use it with people that I am comfortable around and most of the time on me.
• I avoid wearing the color green •
I notice it affects my mood for reasons unknown to me. An unwritten hostility
• I laugh a lot •
I genuine smile a lot and crack jokes on a regular basis, even on my worst days.
Miscellaneous
• My birth was filmed and used as a documentary for future resident students.•
Successfully delivered in a jam-packed room filled with 12 students, 4 doctors, countless nurses and the whole camera crew. It was a beautiful experience that ended up in many rounds of applause and far too many tear-jerking moments.
• I am allergic to gold and apples •
If you are aware of myths and folktales you can agree with me that I can kiss immortality goodbye since I cannot eat the golden apple.
• I know almost all mainstream songs •
In order for me to focus on work, I need to listen to music I don't like.
• Avid video game player •
I consider gaming to be one of my few weaknesses. I always make time for it, even if it's for 15 minutes.
• Typography lover •
Besides being required by the career I am currently in, I love learning about fonts and 90% of the time I will recognize any font you point me with and also include a variety of similar fonts.
• I do stupid things for the love of animals •
Jumped in front of a lorry to save a cat, made my way between a pack of angry dogs just to save a scared puppy that was at the brink of being torn to death, and many more that are just a reinforcing the idea that I've been hit by the stupid stick when it comes to saving animals. •
• Zero makeup skills •
Truthfully, I can apply my makeup perfectly.... on one side only.
Your version of me depends greatly on things you already know about me, the stories I wrote and the blind spots I tried to fill, whereas my version of me is equivocal.
I ponder, I wonder.
Greatest post ever, thanks for turning a huge smile on my face today :-)
There is what you write and there is how you write it, the latter defines clearly more of you
It is all about projections coming from a 'my world' vision, 99.99% of people are like that, don't bother @szuri. 'Opening up' is meant to reduce the projection aspect, it's a good thing and you can't blame yourself if it doesn't work out.
This all aside, so happy to get a better view on Steemit's greatest author but i stress again that this view is not based on the facts you produce, it is the how that defines the beautiful mystery you are
I am clearly letting go here, i have my projections also, no doubt, but i will never evaluate you within these boundaries, a constant re-evaluation of everything is true wisdom, true pleasure and 100% way to go, great post @szuri :-)
My wise friend @bubke. You know my weaknesses but you always manage to emphasize my strong qualities. Thank you! ❤
There's always something very satisfying when you read a well-written post full of honesty and a bit of whimsy.
Thank you @rocking-dave :)
I thought I knew who I am ...as much as possible it is to know yourself. I guess I will never fully know myself since I won't be faced with every possible situation there is out there.
But when they put me on hormone treatement ( alooong time ago) the whole experience made me ask myself ... is it rly the quirks that makes us us? Is it truly the culture, housing, clothes, styles ... the experience? Or at the end...is it just hormone balance?That weird coctail of em in your body ... dictate your mood, dictate when u wake up, when horny, when hungry and at the end your thought train and how you make your decisions.
Exactly. No matter what we do, we won't be able to have a solid sense of self
Glad you don't need that treatment anymore. Hormones imbalance is rough... it can have a knock-on effect on all areas.
I would like to share a video, sensed with an open mind, that may help you know yourself better Ema.
(To be read afterwards):
Despite if what said was true/not, grains of truth, to me, appeared evident. (esp spirituality)
Characterize myself as a 4/5, maybe you a 6?
Felt some ambivalent on parts of the conclusion - indifference, my guilt at immorality)
Question if what you have described before is the influence of the voices present at your birth, when living the experience of death?
Sending ❤
Going to watch the video so I can answer :) ❤
Good video! I don't understand why I gave you a 20% upvote @outtayourbox and it showed up as $0.0?
I do this a lot also. But your ponderings have produced an interesting list ofyouisms. A list of positive uniquenesses, from what I can see. Some quite peculiar, and fascinating. Thanks for sharing some behind the scenes of your author world. :)
Thank you for stopping by, Scott.
Much appreciated!