that's a good way of putting it....creative chaos.
yeah, there are so many mental obstacles in the way............drinking used to be a huge obstacle for me.
I had always written random ideas down for my entire life, but it wasn't until i quit drinking that I could begin to write better.
And back in 2015 when i decided to write my first book, the experience was atrocious. I was a terrible writer. I still have struggles expressing in words what i see visually. I see things, that won't go away in my mind.........that's when i try to write them down.....if i didn't "see" anything, i wouldn't be writing. Most things come to me in a visual way, an impression.
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I know exactly what you mean about "seeing" before you write. I usually let my mind dose off into a daydream about the subject in which i'm going to write about. When the capacity in which my memory for what I was daydreaming about becomes full, that's when I start to recap and write those things down. It's a repeating process after that... It's really a matter of how much time you have at that point, but then again, time usually gets lost in all this... That's when the Magic Happens.