you own your experiences

Dear Steemit,

A lot of bad shit tends to happen to us throughout life. Maybe a partner cheated on you, maybe your parents crushed you dreams, maybe a friend killed your cat. Who knows. But a lot of bad shit will, in fact, happen.

The common denominator of all these events will be you. It is your life, your experiences, your tragedies, and that means these things are yours to do with what you will. This sounds obvious, but when it comes down to sharing our stories, it's not uncommon to feel we owe these people our silence.

Maybe you forgave your friend because your cat was old and sick anyway (disclaimer: this example is totally derived from The Office) or your mom is still in your life and you don't want to create yet another wall between the two of you. After all, she's your mom, at the end of the day you still love her.

I've been there, and I still am most days. I acknowledge that I own my stories but I'm also a person oozing with empathy. People hurt me, and I still find it in myself to protect them from transparency. I've written some things about my parents on this blog that I would really love for them to never know about. This is also partly to avoid confrontation, and guilt. I love sharing my stories, especially when it can be of help to me or others, but I am not always willing to pay the price.

There are no doubt circumstances where I am okay with keeping quiet. It could have been an accident, maybe the person was genuinely sorry and knew they made a mistake, and it would be a shame to hold it against them. But overall, people should take into consideration how people would react to their actions before doing it, especially if the other party is a writer or an artist of any form. If you don't want your mom to know you are gaslighting your wife, that should be one of many indications it is wrong. And if this is the case, your wife doesn't owe you shit. Tell the world, girl.

This may sound heartless, but it's coming from a place of fear and aching silence. I do love to write. I do not like having to hold myself back for the sake of someone who doesn't deserve that sort of respect.

I think it is true with any sort of writing that you need to write like no one is watching. Like no one is judging. Like noo one is paying you the slightest bit of attention.

Speak the truth and let yourself be stripped of any fear.

You owe it to yourself.
and no one else.