@libertyranger - I was reading @arbitrarykitten when I found your comment:

"I have loads of stuff I wrote in gmail, saved as a draft. I have not had anything lost there yet... but it is a Google product so I am sure it has been scanned and stolen, shared with the CIA and will be held against me in a court of law one day...."
(c)2017 @libertyranger

I have good news for you. The NSA hacked the CIA’s computers and deleted their case against you. ( You were framed and charged with criminal tendencies toward “intellectual terrorism.” "Intellectual terrorism" is a pre-crime loosely defined as the uncontrollable compulsion of a gun-totin’ Libertarian to insist upon the constitutional right to think for himself without fear of reprisal. )

Civil war broke out between the NSA and the CIA. Somehow Russia was blamed. Vladimir Putin shrugged his shoulders and said, “Nyetch! Why can’t Donald control his people? OK, we will give asylum to this @libertyranger. He can have the room next to Snowden, but make sure there’s nothing in his boots.”

Suddenly @arbitrarykitten showed up and burst into the courtroom carrying her Friday the 13th "it’s-only-my-son" intruder stick. (“What courtroom?” you ask. In Russia there are courtrooms everywhere. It’s a Russian thing.)

“Your honor,” shouted @arbitrarykitten, “This is an unconscionable travesty of justice. Release the prisoner now and allow him to return to his badly abused jar of ugly rice. That rice needs him!” To which Putin (now wearing his Supreme Court Justice hat) replied, “OK fine, let him return to America, but Donald’s paying for this. You people need to learn how to manage your borders and keep your crazy CIA-NSA wars in your own back yard. Oy-vey!”

With these words, Putin turned slyly toward Kim Jong Un, (who was inconspicuously sprawled all over North Korea) and nodded. Kim raised his eyebrows, lowered his gaze, and blinked coyly at Vlad. Both men blushed in mutual understanding and conspiratorial silence. Vlad gave Kim his Mona Lisa smile.

But @libertyranger and @arbitrarykitten happily linked arms and walked out of the courtroom. Undaunted and fully clothed, they leaped into the Volga and swam all the way home where everyone lived happily ever after, until the next rigged election.

The End.