2 things that I want to draw attention to @richq11. 1. You went through hell and more, multiple times! And you survived. Respect! 2. After all that you went through, probably traumatized and heavily scarred, you had the mental strength and maturity to seek out ways to actively heal youself! More respect! You might have screwed up earlier, but that was all in the past. You will make it @richq11, wherever you want to go. And you will be all right.
Wishing you the best as you continue to heal. Book lovers always heal faster and stronger, did you know that? :) And if you think you are not a good writer... well, you are in a good place right here, right now.
Thanks... I've never let myself be traumatized. I think it's a choice... I believe the old adage that whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.