Something like the shoulder Devil and Angel in the old cartoons !
When it is time to make a decision, big or small, there are at least two voices in our heads -probably more- and they are there for a reason.
One of them or more are related to our past, to our childhood and to our parents.
Actually, they ARE the voices of our parents and this could be both a bad and a good thing, depending on how we were raised ><
The other one is our Higher Self <3
Wikipedia definition:
Higher self is a term associated with multiple belief systems, but its basic premise describes an eternal, omnipotent, conscious, and intelligent being, who is one's real self. Each and every individual has a Higher self.
These voices can either help keep us safe, loved and free OR push us to make decisions out of fear and they partially depend on how we were raised.
A. First Dominant voice
Strong, mature parents gift us with a very good voice!
One that helps us become independent and confident.
To believe in ourselves and to thrive, making decisions that reflect our inner wishes and aspirations.
Immature parents with low self-esteem on the other hand, will unfortunately make us build a generally unstable voice.
One of my parents used to be like this. I can't blame them but I like to be honest.
Such a voice will tell you to always choose safety over challenge and stability over change no matter what the circumstances.
To not try to do better because you may lose what little you already have.
To not fly too close to the sun cause you might burn.
B. Second Dominant voice
Now let's go to the other one of the two dominant voices.
This is probably your OWN voice. Your Higher Self looking out for you.
The easiest way to identify this voice is the following (that's how I experience it):
This voice usually tells me to do the things that will make me happy without harming me but by liberating me and allowing me to be the true version of myself. Of who I was meant to be.
I'll give you an example from my personal life:
Recalling one of my unhealthy relationships where verbal and emotional abuse was the norm, I remember one voice constantly saying "open the door and get the heck out of here, this is NOT LOVE and you don't deserve this" (my Higher Self - My OWN Voice) and another one saying "maybe it's me, maybe I'm asking for it, I should stay in the relationship and work hard to make it work" (NOT my own voice. My parents' relationship used to be like that so this example and way of living was once engraved in my mind as normal so I would automatically go back to that familiar pattern).
The first voice is my Higher true self who knows the truth above and beyond past experiences.
Mindset: Brake free, stop harming yourself and eventually in the long run, BE HAPPY.
The second voice is the FEAR based on my past.
That voice is reflecting my parent's FEAR of getting divorced.
Of facing the world alone.
Of being accountable for their choices and their whole existence.
Mindset: What if I walk away? I will feel lonely. Guilty. I will be ALONE. Miserable in the "short" run.
I don't care about what happens in the long run? I want to feel safe and part of something right now.
I want an easy fix. I can't take any more pain.
Change is hard.
We all have past experiences that have molded us in a specific shape but that doesn't mean we have to keep living like this.
We are free to break the mold and reshape in the exact way we want.
We can be whoever we want to be.
The limiting voices will always BE there but that doesn't mean we have to listen to them.
We can rewire our brain to listen and respond to the voice(s) that suggest what is best for us.
A little hard at first but I promise it gets easier.
And if the negative atmosphere is always present and nobody gets your positive ideas then stop sharing until you find people that do.
You don't have to waste your energy convincing people that don't want to understand you.
And you don't need anybody's approval to think a certain way.
Just DO.
See you soon,
Love
SahanaYoga
This post was inspired by a short conversation I had with @calibratedwisdom who commented on my last post https://steemit.com/life/@sahana-yoga/i-quit-my-job-and-reinvented-myself
He said: "I wonder, as you became more attuned to yourself and your heart, do you feel like you always know what your voice is telling you to do? Do you have doubts in making decisions? Do you think that those things only emerge as a consequence of internal resistance?"
A wonderful feedback from the steemit community that gave me some food for thought.
Today's post was a more elaborate answer.
Intuition, the voice of our inner self, we should much more listen to it.
Best regards from Thailand
Tom
Thank you for your comment and support @zanoni!
Hello from Seattle!
Thank you too and hello from Klaeng, Thailand
Tom
I like the feel of this post. It feels like being acknowledged and given a blessing to follow my heart. I’m looking forward to more advice about how to start hearing my higher self.
I have always felt I had a higher self but the definition you gave was quite fascinating. It’s somewhat different to what I conceived.
I do think of my higher self as being outside me but I hadn’t realised before. I feel we return to a disembodied higher self when we are done having our human embodied experience.
I hadn’t realised I can hear her consciously 😄whilst embodied.
I don’t think I’m too good at this yet, but I do think she has a very powerful role in making it really laborious and hard for me to do anything my heart’s not in!
My parent voices are a mixed bag of pretty awful and powerfully liberating. I didn’t realise that until a few years back when my mum was diagnosed with a terminal illness (she survived!) and I came to assess the parts of me that had come from her influence. She taught me a strong morality of justice and equality from young, in her words at least. I didn’t feel like an equal, I felt mostly like an annoyance, but I received some powerful values that are central to who I am. She also taught me to have faith in human kind and to be generous. Edit! Oh my goodness! I forgot to mention her strongest message is to be honest to a fault! She taught me integrity. ❤️
The saying goes that we learn what our parents are, not what they say ... but I think we learn both. (“Do what I say, not what I do!” Haha)
Sometimes we are learning what they say about us and it has taken a long time for me to let my higher self tell me who I am rather than listen to the doubting voice.
Looking forward to more thought provocation from you @sahana-yoga
Thank you 😊
Hi Sally and wow that's a very interesting comment! I love long ones :D
Your face in your pic looks so familiar too...I get this with people sometimes, maybe we've met in another lifetime...
And yes I do agree with ALL you have said I think haha
I do believe that we return to a disembodied higher self when we are done having our human embodied experience. Again and again and again. Carrying our interstellar baggage with us (or letting go of them as we go and learn). You have a very impressive great deal of things in you "resume". You are a parent, homeschooler, homeopath (anxiety, autism and vaccine injury). I don't have any children of my own yet and I am still learning as much as I can and absorbing as much info as possible, in order to one day be ready for the role... So I really admire what you are doing and looking forward to reading your posts too!
PS: I have damned my parents many times in the past for all the bad qualities I'm struggling with but the truth is that they have gifted me too and for this I am grateful. Avoiding a specific mistake will make you make another one anyway I think, I was discussing this earlier with my husband, talking about our parents.
You are being followed lady!
Looking forward to reading you.
Happy New Year from Seattle <3
Wonderful! I’m looking forward to a few more revelations from you 😄.
I LIKE revelations. I’m ready for them.
It’s really cool to see the great things your parents gave you BEFORE you have to say goodbye (for now) to them. I was grateful for the opportunity to have my eyes opened. It was a silver lining (there always is one) within a horrid experience ❤️. I remember my mum often saying she regretted not having the chance to make peace with her (challenging) parents. I’m hoping, generation upon generation, that the children in my family have more and more positive, peaceful, affirmative parents so I’ve worked hard to try to create that kind of parenting atmosphere for my children (as much as I’ve been able) whilst letting them know you can and will be fallible and you are perfectly imperfect as you are 😄
I think it is a bit impossible to become a person with great qualities whilst having irredeemable parents 😄 even terrible parents get some stuff right 😂. But I did believe, before my mum was sick, that I’d become everything I’d become precisely because I decided to NOT be like my parents and I lived with that story without questioning it too well. I much prefer the truth ❤️
I think a lot of what they didn’t do was part of the good I hadn’t always seen too.
It’s SO nice to meet nice people here in this lovely steemit atmosphere. 😄
Cheers @sahana-yoga and Happy 2018!
@helensoutar you may like @sahana-yoga’s posts. 😄
I do! Thanks for the heads up lovely x
a very pretty post dear
Thank you 😃
😀You too
I liked it, and I think I'm still trying hard to hear nothing but the inner voice in every decision..but I see I have still trouble trusting in it..
thanks for nice post of yours..I followed you here and on instagram and upvoted..I'll check other posts of yours as well..
I still struggle with it a lot too...but if you know you are moving in the right direction then it's all good! That's what I believe. Thank you for following @bitpost !
😏
:-D
I came to this post because of your offer at fb to read this post and then you will have a look at mine. After trapping into this "clickbait" I must say that I'm happy about sneaking into your "trap".
You found the right words and posts like yours have to be shared with others. I'm looking forward to read much more of your posts.
With best regards from Germany
Sven
Hi Sven, well in this world of extremely fast info moving around it's hard not to use these traps. I wish I didn't have to... but it brought us together so yey!
I like your themes too so you are being followed and upvoted dear German friend! I'm originally from Greece btw :-)
Have a wonderful Happy New Year 🎊
Nice writeup, great introspection. Keep up the good work.
Thank you for reading and for the feedback Chelsea. Took a look at your account too :-)
Your Welcome. Lol,I didn't see anything. 🤔☺
What do you mean? LoL I upvoted two of your posts
Thanks I'm not given notifications on exactly who upvotes what but thanks for the votes.
Upvoting and following back @sahana-yoga. You have an interesting blog.
Wish you the best on your life and on steemit-journey !
Thank you @giosou I appreciate it!
Looking forward to seeing more of your content. Good luck to you too :-))
Good read Sahana. A few years back i started to listen to that inner voice again. Told myself some truths that I knew i had to face and chose to push our as much negativity out of my life as possible. I had lost a lot of my own character through a relationship with my daughters mother who suffers with bipolar disorder. Although i tried to the point where I knew I couldn't go any further i didn't want to listen to that voice. When i finally did it was tough for a few months until i started just attracting more positive friends and people back into my life. It's true a lot of us become shaped by the environment or by the way we have been brought up but i also like the fact that you pointed out its still an individual choice and what ever past we have does not always have to determine our future. Nice share keep doing what your doing :)
Thank you for reading @clivemartin.
Sounds like you really "overcame your self" as we say in Greek. Must have been a very hard thing to do considering the "guilt" part of it. Walking out of a relationship in which you know you are expected to be there and continuously provide support. And having kids too. I guess you must have tried to make you higher self stop talking to you before you had no other option but to listen to him...
That feels familiar.
I was so happy to read about your experience because there was a happy ending for you, although I understand there is no one definitive ending to stories as complicated as that...
I'm happy to hear that you are looking for more positive situations and thank you for the light you shared with me and everybody who read your comment.
Looking forward to reading more of your posts :-))
Nice post @sahana-yoga