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RE: My Vacation On the Exotic Shores of a Blackhole - Part 2

in #writing7 years ago

Very good continuation, I actually enjoy the length of the parts so far, not so long that you feel it was just too long for too little happening. There is a lot happening in quite a short section, which I think is because you seem to have a nice balance between describing interaction and surroundings.

Some people can write all this just describing hair blowing in the wind. I hate that.

Julia is reminding me of the blonde robot in Dark Matter, if you have not seen it, it is really worth a watch as much as this is worth a read.
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Depending on the story, sometimes I like to be overly descriptive. This was free write though, so it just flowed. There are a few times I sort of cheated though, and restarted a sentence, or even rarely a paragraph, or fixed mistakes.

I actually love Dark Matter. I didn't particularly model her after the robot on there though.