Written a book? Success is around the corner!

You’ve written a book – or rather, you’ve started writing your book and you simply know it will be a billion-dollar best-seller from the word GO!

It’s obviously the best thing since – well, since Hollywood started making movies and… ooh… there’s an idea! The movie rights – and therefore the screenplay…

What do you do next?

Well, obviously, you have to contact the ‘Big Six’ publishers and warn them to gird their loins in preparation for your blockbuster arriving on their desk, of course!

Hopefully they’ll get into a bidding war for your manuscript and then Hollywood will be clamouring for the screen rights before it’s even published.

You’ll get to choose the best actors from the tip-top, cream of the crop in Hollywood and success for the film (possibly two films because Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, and Hunger Games split the last one in their series in two– am I right?)

Better get yourself ready, you’ll never have to even look at an email again, let alone write another book.

Of course it’s that easy – that’s why everyone is writing a book.

Then of course, handing in your notice at work – possibly telling the boss exactly what you think of him/her and how much you’ve been biting your tongue over the past however many years you’ve been toiling there – taking a dump on the boss’s desk is always an amusing touch, and so very final, don’t you think?

Then you can go new home buying – at least two – one in the mountains for the secluded serenity (just in case you want to write another billion-dollar best-seller) and the other right on the beach – maybe a third home in Party-Town Central? Good plan? Yeah! Go for it! The mortgages will be paid off just as soon as the first royalty cheque comes in, right?

Oh and don’t forget that new car! A Bentley? Bugatti? Ferraris are nice! You’ve simply got to have something swish for arriving at all the launch parties and Wrap Parties you’re going to be invited to – not to mention the ‘working lunches’ to hash out the script-writers’ ideas for the transition from book-to-movie. Turning up in the old banger you run now just will not do!

Back the truck up a little bit… it’s not that easy at all. The hardest part is actually finishing the book because none of that fairytale I described above will happen before you have that FINISHED manuscript in hand. No, I don’t care if it is the greatest story ever told (where have I heard that before?) it will not happen with a part-finished book.

Everyone is allowed to dream. The big ‘what if’ has been the starting point of many great stories but (and yes, it really is a big BUT) that’s only the very start of the journey. There are hazards and pitfalls to avoid, not to mention the steps you ABSOLUTELY MUST follow if you are to become anywhere close to successful (and by ‘successful’, I mean having more people read your work than just your mum, granny and best friend).

You can do a few of the steps simultaneously of course, but they must be done to the best of your ability to give your stupendous book the best chance.

Edit – it’s important, necessary – vital – to get your book/novel/manuscript polished and perfected. Hire a professional Editor for the sake of your book and career as a writer. Do NOT put out sub-standard or shoddy work, you’ll get pulled-up on it –EVERY TIME! Then, when your book has been torn apart by ravening reviewers, your book, precious and beloved as it was, is dead – beyond help, gone past redemption. There’s no coming back from a review-ravaging, and as an author, you’ll have to change your name otherwise it will come back to haunt you too.

I do realise that some authors can ride the storm of a bad review (and even a multitude of bad reviews) but the chances that your first novel will break that trend is slim – exceptionally slim.

Slender

Not only should you hire a professional Editor, you should hire a GOOD professional Editor. Check credentials, ask for references, ask to be directed to other books the editor has edited and do your research!

Research - EVERYTHING!

What genre have you written in? Multiple genres? Figure it out!

Research which agents and publishers deal with the genre you've written in. Then find out how they'd like you to approach them - nope, it's nothing like the old adage: Build a better mousetrap and the world will beat a path to your door. You have to go and seek out someone to publish your work.

No one is coming to drop a publishing contract into your lap unless you've already proven yourself as an expert in some field, you're a celebrity in the news RIGHT NOW! or you've got lots of books on the best-sellers lists already (and sometimes, not even then!)

Once you've found an agent and publisher, that's it, right? The work is done! Now's the time to lean back and survey your massive success?

Nope!

Even if you get an advance, that's NOT the end of it. You are given that advance payment against work the publisher expects you to do to promote your new book.

That's right, you have to hustle to get value for THEIR money - off you go!

Book signings, interviews, guest-appearances, hand-shaking, chatting to people - yes, you have to actually speak to people after shutting yourself away in solitude for a couple of years.

Part of the advance cheque may also include sequels and so, in between hand-shaking, interviews and everything else, you also have a deadline on the next book.

Believe me, deadlines do NOT give you the incentive to get that work done - usually, it's the exact opposite. Procrastination sets in... deadline looms... panic envelops you and you're three days away from submitting the new manuscript - with three pages of utter drivel written.

Does it still sound like an easy gig that anyone can do?

Yeah? You're SURE?

Off you go then.

You've got three months.

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