I’m Too Afraid To Write Something Genuine

Every time I listen to Eminem’s more controversial work (Kim, Same Song and Dance, Medicine Ball), I’m reminded of a significant weakness in my writing.

My writing isn’t genuine.

I’m a small-time blog and fiction writer, and Eminem is a mainstream rap sensation. On the surface, we couldn’t have less in common. But there’s one artistic lesson I need to learn from Eminem, and that’s the courage to create genuine art - no matter how screwed up it is.

That’s what draws millions of other people and me to Eminem’s work. It’s genuine. He has given his life to his work. Even though we will never know Eminem personally, we all know something profound about who he is.

That’s the kind of art that draws people in. The kind that is genuine and honest about the human condition.

But artists, especially us writers, shy away from that. It’s a lot easier for us to write “5 reasons you should exfoliate” than it is for us to write “how my existential despair tortures me every day.”

I shy away from the topics I really want to write about. I enjoy what I currently write about, but there is a wealth of topics I’d rather be writing about instead. But so far, I’ve been too afraid to do so.

For me, the reasons I shy away from the hard stuff are:

• Honestly, I don’t want my parents to see. I’m afraid that if I touch on more sensitive (or screwed up) subjects in my writing, they’ll start to worry about my mental health.
• I don’t want anyone to judge me. In many senses, I’ve had a comfortable and privileged life. I don’t want people to message me saying “that’s stupid that you feel this way; nothing bad has happened to you.”

But there are a lot of reasons to be courageous, too.

• Friends, acquaintances, and people I don’t know will come out of the woodwork saying “me too.” Having someone connect to art you made is an unparalleled feeling of human connection.
• That’s how artists get successful. The most financially well-off artists are ones who put their very selves into their work.
• The alternative is to spend the rest of my life hiding the deepest parts of myself. That’s unacceptable. If I can’t be who I am for the benefit of the world, I’d rather be dead.

Being authentically who we are is all any of us can do. Without it, there’s no point.

I’m not nearly as honest in my work as I should be. I’m not sure how to start.

I’d love to hear how other people found the courage to be honest in their work. How did they write the story of their sexual assault for the first time? Or the time their best friend in high school killed themselves? How did their parents react? Their friends? The world?

If you have a story or resources to share, please do. It may be the key to someone making a masterpiece.

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