"You look like you have it all together."
I laugh, "I do?"
"Yeah Lon, you come in everyday with your cute outfits and your hair always looks so kempt. You always look so well put together."
I laugh again, "Thanks! But I don't always feel that way!"
And actually, to be frankly honest, I don't want to look all together. I want to be raw, I want to be messy, I want to let my emotions run free like a wild horse. I want to be unafraid to be so...insecure.
Let's start shall we?
I'm insecure.
Always have, always will be. I believe insecurity is a very human emotion that everyone battles with, it is just how each individual decides to react to their own mind demonizing themselves becomes a showcase of their true character. Some humans lash out on others, some hide away from the world, and some take on the challenge to wrestle with their demons. Sometimes I feel like those who take time to battle their demons head on, they look like they are standing higher ground than the rest of us. They have a pile of inner demon bodies to stand on top of while the rest of us are looking up feeling shadowed by our inner demons, feeding them with our growing fears.
The individuals I most admire in this world are the ones that are the ones that take on their demons unabashedly. They battle their demons while showing the wounds that happen, unafraid to show when they are feeling weak because they know in that weak period the demon will let it's guard down and they can deliver their final blow. At least, I think that's how it works and that's how I've been battling my demons.
The more I battle and the more I feel like I might be reaching a higher ground, the more I begin to realize something...Even though someone is standing on a bigger pile of inner demons, it doesn't mean their demons get easier. It could be depending on how you are defeating these demons, maybe some people are spreading out their victories to give themselves more land area of demon bodies to stand on. Some people might be staying in one spot until they reach a pointy glacier top...and then when they try to battle their last inner demon...they fall.
nice.
Thanks!
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