Preliminary Reaction:
First of all, what? This is a human ear, not a penis. If you do not know the difference, you are neither male nor old enough to be on the internet, and are therefore not the target audience for this ad.
Second of all, why?! My first thought was that this must be an image stolen from some poor sap’s personal blog about the dangers of body piercing with eczema. Why the spamlords responsible would choose this image for this scam, though, is beyond me.
Are they implying that poking a hole in one’s cartilage will relieve some sort of built-up testosterone blockage and allow the boners of the gullible to flourish afresh?
Is it a tacit assertion that only guys with low T have embraced this year’s french manicure craze? If this is the case, should it be considered support for gender non-conformity, or mocking of the gender non-conforming? The world is full of mysteries.
What it actually is:
Astoundingly, this is, in fact, a photo of a human ear, and not of an ear-shaped skull-penis (a thing I have just made up and which is now trademarked). However, it’s not just any ear. It is an ear suffering from a medical condition known as basal cell carcinoma, the most common form of cancer. You read that correctly—shady ad moguls are using a photo of ear cancer to promote their “one odd trick” to re-inflate your defeated penis like a fleshy balloon animal. If contracting skin cancer doesn’t get your cock to renew its boner membership, there is literally nothing that will.
What it will actually do:
It will leave you with skin cancer and leave your perennial case of limp dick unaffected. But that’s ok, because the “one odd trick” to cure skin cancer is undoubtedly out there and most likely involves provoking rabid pitbulls, or something.
[Here is the page containing the earliest-known instance of the photo in this adtrocity.]
I find this particularly offensive because I actually have a penis where my ear should be and an ear where my penis should be (my life is tough enough as is with all the ridicule, plus every time I fart in the night I wake myself up).
Genuinely a great idea for a blog series, although with all the weirdness out there you'll have a thousand-yard stare by the end of it!
Ahahah, must make popping boners awkward, too :P
Hey, thanks!! I think I was born with a thousand-yard stare, so I'm not too worried. I legitimately have thousands of stupid ads saved to my computer, so my real concern is ever getting through all of them.
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