The false feelings.

Humans are sometimes unable to interpret the feelings they feel whether consciously or unconsciously. Sometimes they are confused by feelings of change or volatility, from feelings of hatred and disappointment turns into admiration and liking. As I feel now. But is this really an admiration?

I walked along the school corridor. Again the one guy appeared in front of me. Bakri name. Yes, we're in our class and lately I'm in the same group as him. He approached me, I thought he would ask us about our assignment, but he said, "Far, we will add the photographs of your report, oiya the source do not forget to be copied, okay? Luckily I had the idea to fit in the cafeteria when we start the afternoon later research, let cepet finished so. Yes I already deh yes first, "he also left me after I answered the request and maybe he did not hear me. That's what I do not like with guys like him. Too perfectsionist in everything, so more impressed impose the will.

The school bell rang, my friend Syarifa approached me with a smile that spread on her face. She is the most PD girl in my class. "Rin, come home together yuk, I think Abiku not pick up deh," said Syarifa while holding my hand tightly. "Hmm .. okay," I replied briefly because my mind was not on him but on the group assignment I just gave to Bakri. Somehow I'm afraid my job is not perfect. I was silent all the way home. The bike I kayed slowed down after I took Syarifa home. After thinking for a while I decided to forget the group's work and let it be corrected properly by Bakri.



"Assalamu'alaikum, Farin go home Mah," I say happily when entering the house because I smell the smell of my favorite steamed bolu. "Wa'alaikum salam eh son Mamah already home, how was the school?" Mamah asked while kissing my cheek. "Well the usual Mah aja, hmm .. I think Mamah cook something ya," I switched Mamah conversation about school, I do not want Mamah tau challenge my anxiety. "Here ya, Mamah make Farin favorite sponge," said Mamah with great care. I did it. Mamah did not discuss about school anymore. Finally this afternoon I spend with talking with Mamah.

Only this time the wind blows hard in the afternoon. I also pedaled my bike strongly to the mosque Darussalam for listening to pengajian of Ustadzah Nur. And it looks like this week's theme is interesting. 30 minutes passed, I began to realize Ustadzah Nur's words that do not hate anything too much because it could be one day you like it and do not like something too much because it could be one day you hate it, so be happy or hate something naturally.

This morning is so cool, it makes me excited to go to school. "Mah, Farin leave first yes, Assalamu'alaikum," I say while kissing Mamah's hand. "Yes, Wa'alaikum greetings, be careful ya son," said Mamah with a soft voice and of course while giving my allowance allowance to me. 25 minutes I rode my bike to school with joy in my heart because today there are no daily tests or tasks collected. And today I decided to sit in the back. The bell rang, and Bakri looked at me cynically. What is this?

Teet ... teet ... teet.
Finally break too. Instantly the class became crowded with laughter, but suddenly the atmosphere changed. "Hey Farin! Here deh briefly, see our report, "Bakri said with a loud tone, to the point that all children look at me. "What's the same with our report?" I asked anxiously if I made a mistake in our report. "What is this? How does it look like? I've said love the research photos to our report not this photo. Keep the source a little bit? Though we were looking for a lot of lho, "said Bakri with a thousand questions ketus to make me do not know what will answer. After a long nag, he slammed his laptop and left me. I was silent in disbelief he could be that angry. As far as I'm concerned I've added all the research photos to our report. And thanks to his perfectsionist attitude I felt very stupid when working with him. As a result my feelings of hate and disappointment in Bakri were even greater.

Day after day. I have forgotten my disappointment and also Bakri's anger at me first. Somehow Bakri and I became very intimate when we and five other children became a team in a study at school. Although I am now more careful when talking with Bakri. Along with that I started to sense something strange, I no longer thought how annoying Bakri was when he scolded me but more often thought about his jokes. But until now I still keep my distance with Bakri, not because I do not want to get his tirade but because I'm too awkward when talking to him.

Our new year of study all went to class XII, but I was no longer classmate with Bakri and some of my friends. Syarifa my best friend in class again with Bakri. A few months passed, I realized he was getting closer to Bakri. Similarly, Bakri who looks cheerful moment with him. I'm sad, disappointed, he's my best friend but I have not dared to tell him about Bakri. I decided to forget it.

I realized the feeling that this feeling turned out to be fake. Ustadzah Nur is right, that do not hate anything too much because it could be one day you like it or vice versa. I should not like it too much because maybe I will feel sadness when the disappointment comes.