[NSFW] Notes of a Suicide (Part Three)

in #writing6 years ago (edited)





Disclaimer: This story might include explicit descriptions of sexual acts that may be considered Not Safe For Work (NSFW).

Part Three

On February 14, I went in search of my gift for Valentine's Day, were some red flowers and a box of chocolates, to somehow not overlook this important day for us. My biggest surprise was that, when I arrived with my present in hand, she received me with a kiss and a hug, the joy overflowed and the ambient was so propitious for many things I had in mind, –though I really didn't want to disrespect her –, but somehow I noticed that there was something different in her, this time it was much more intense and in a certain way she let me know the following words:

"You know, I haven’t even bought a present for you, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have a gift for you on this special occasion, don’t ever think I’m so inconsiderate!" Alicia ventured with a hussy expression in her eyes that just excited me even more.

"I must confess that I am intrigued..." I responded to her insinuations.

"Be a good worker, go and finish your day. I’ll wait for you at 8 pm right here. I have a surprise for you."

"Perfect, I love surprises, so I'll be punctual."

After such an interesting conversation, I went to my work and although I tried to control my anxiety, I couldn’t get Alice's words out of my mind, my concentration failed because of the expectation that was echoing in my head. I looked like a boy of 15, I was a little nervous and impatient, a strange emotion invaded me and it went from the toe to my head. And in a conversation with myself in front of the bathroom mirror in the office, I told myself: "Nicolas, you're in love," I smiled happily as I realized how the impossible, or at least what I thought that was impossible, was actually happening.

I arrived at her apartment before 8:00 pm, it was 7:48 pm to be exact, I remember that when I climbed the stairs, my hands sweated as if the fear of any eventuality could ruin such a special occasion, I sincerely did not recognize myself in those days, Alicia had changed me completely. I knocked on her door and she came out wearing a knee-length black dress, but my eyes couldn’t move away from her pronounced cleavage and I couldn’t help thinking what was possibly behind the fabric of that dress. –Simply stunning, she cannot honestly look more beautiful –I thought.

Alicia took me to the dining room, where different fine dishes were served, though being next to her, I couldn’t care less about the food. She brought a bottle of wine from the refrigerator and poured me a drink, and then she said:

"Let's have a toast for all this time we’ve spent together, for having met so unexpectedly and for the love between us that has grown so fast that we didn't even notice when it reached. But what is ours' still needed to be consummated, but do not worry, I'll take care of that,” She expressed as she lunged at me and then sit astride, in front of me, she looked at me with a gaze mixed between passion and desire, I quickly stole her a kiss and her lips approached my ear, where she whispered: "Here's your gift. I'm sitting on your lap, and this is my surprise for today... I hope you like it, I only have one condition though, and I really hope you won't misunderstand me, but all I ask you is to use protection."

At that very moment, I understood the reason behind that condition, and I could not refute it. At that moment I could only think about making love to her and then spend the whole night with her. We almost forgot to eat, I remember how my hands were shaking, and each caress was like a miracle made true for my being.

By joining my lips with hers, I could feel her breath and how our saliva started to blend in lubricating kisses that just increased even more our burning desire. That neckline was the only obstacle that didn't let her breasts touch my skin, I wanted to pluck it, but I decided to lean towards the subtlety. I remember that with one hand I lowered the back closure of her dress, letting it fall to the floor. I took it from the floor with my teeth with viciousness and then take her to the room at a hurried pace. In a naive dilly-dallying, Alicia asked me: "Are we really gonna leave the food almost intact?"

"Woman, just don’t ask me about that. I think we have more important things to do right now!” I whispered in her ear as I walked into her room. I threw her onto the bed, and then prepared to take her brassiere off while approaching my mouth towards her.

While my lips and my tongue urged me to be so deep inside her and go all over her body, Alicia was reluctant somehow and pushed me in a somewhat abrupt manner, then she pronounced: "Wait, I'll bring something," she approached the side table, making me wait seconds in which I took the opportunity to take off my shirt.

She hastily came back to me. She viciously lowered her head at my waist, unbuckling my belt and stripping off my pants, the night became really hot, with much passion and lust, with naivety and sweetness, and so on and so forth. So many things happened that day, that not even time could erase them from my memory.

I would’ve liked the clock to stop at that moment, and that that night would’ve been everlasting. I understood what was the only thing I’d always been yearning for… That every day could be like that Valentine's Day if only I decide to stay with her the rest of my life.

What an unforgettable sleepless night, I still remember it all too well, everything seems to come in flashbacks even now: each kiss, each caress, the sweat running through my skin, her gaze and the climax of the coitus; the wine, the candles in the bedroom, that gave it the color of a romantic evening, her scent, her almost drowned breath and her soft moans. I treasured every moment and all of them occupied for a long time, perhaps forever, a space in the heart-shaped box that stores all my dearest memories.

The next day, I woke up at her side and when I saw how she slept so placidly, I decided to make an impromptu breakfast. It was 7:10 am, I was late for work, as she did not wake up, I decided to leave without even tell her. On the way to work, I decided to write a message letting her know how happy I was and apologizing for leaving so early.

When I arrived at the Fire Station, I decided to ask for the afternoon to do a stagecoach. I bought a gift that fit in my pants pocket and then I called her.

"Dress up, we'll go to the cinema."

"Sure. I'll be ready for it in a matter of seconds."

We were at the train station. I remember that there were myriads of people, all unknown, but somehow we managed to match at the same point so quickly. We boarded the car, I had already bought the tickets. I took her hand and told her to sit down. After a few seconds and being in motion, I get up from the seat and kneel in front of everyone, pronouncing the following words:

"Would you make me even happier by just allowing me to put this ring on your finger as a symbol and witness of our union forever and always? This emblem is my request to marry you. With this sign, I think it is evident that I want to spend the rest of my life with you and that I am just asking you to marry this humble fireman."

"I accept, I accept, I accept. You do not even have to ask me, you know that I love you so much!”

Between laughter and joys, and jumps among the crowd, she accepted my proposal of marriage, but somehow the silence came, and her eyes went gray and tenuous, I knew right away that something was making her sad.

"What's up Alicia?"

"Just don’t ask me what happens to me, I just can’t answer such a question. You really don’t know how I feel, I just know that I want to be alone. I wanna take my time to process all this...” She replied.

As an accomplice and treacherous of my declaration of love, the train stopped and the wagon opened, Alicia ran in tears, moving away from me. Among the crowd, I managed to see that she took a taxi, that day we couldn’t even see the movie.

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