Say No to Domestic Violence

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Its very heartbreaking for children to see one of their parents abusing and attacking the other. Domestic violence is one of the basic problems in the world today.

What is Domestic Violence?
Dictionary defined it as any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling,threatening behaviours, violence or abuse between anyone who are/have been intimately involved or are family members.

Incidents maybe sexual, emotional, physical or financial.

Society has made us see a man as a prime abuser but nowadays women abuse their husbands(men)too especially when she's the bread winner of the home,he becomes the houseboy.

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Although a man is recognised more often.

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Effect of Domestic Violence or Abuse
Abuse can happen anywhere home,class,religion,ethnic groups,age and relationship etc.

Most children who see their parents abuse one another try very hard not to repeat or make the mistakes of their parents

Children of any age can develop symptom of Post Trauma Stress..you can DYOR about it.
Which symptoms are flashbacks,nightmares,headaches and physical and emotional pain.

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Most people especially children who live in homes or environment where there is violence,grow up in an unpredictable environment filed with anxiety, fear,tension and most times have trust issues.

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Domestic violence can cause emotional and psychological trauma, instead of living a life of peace,security,physical and emotional safety they sometimes think of what their future holds.

They sometimes think of what would happen next,their reactions to it are self blame, numbness,shame,anger,sadness,loneliness, dread,terror,helplessness in some cases homelessness, anxiety and worry.

Domestic violence causes them to lack concentration in their academics or life as a whole, lack emotions of expression of emotions,aggressive, hyperactive, disobedient, fantasise about normal home life,low esteem,wary,running away from home,feeling isolated especially when the other kids talk about their happy homes,embarrassed about family, depressed and can end up committing suicide.

Short story about an abused girl

I will kill you today,...stupid woman..good for nothing,liability..Mr Dan shouted on his wife Joy,hitting her badly.
Dad pls stop,don't hit mummy,Love said crying.
Get out of my way,bastard,Mr Dan replied.
Kill me kill me kill me,I'm just a child but I've lived a life full of agony,no peace,no joy,i wished i could choose my parents or just die..I want to die....
I want a home not a house!!,Love screamed shutting the door behind her parents.
She walked away.

Summary
Obviously she was a child but had lived a life filled with agony,her parents were happily married before the storm stroke,her mother quit her job because her father was against her working or supporting the family,he wanted a full time house wife not a working partner,he made promises to provide fully for her and her kids.
The storm stroke when her mother couldn't bear male children and became fat as a cow,he had complained repeatedly he didn't marry a Buffalo 25 years ago,she had lost her beauty,he always said and she deprived him of sex so he takes it by force claiming he paid fully for her and calls her a liability,forgetting his promises.

Love's words
I know Mum wasn’t always a saint,She said. She could really wind him up,she was known as the tigress but sometimes tried to be humble for peace to reign.
I always sometimes see them argue and shout but no physical combat but then I know what he was capable of when he loses it.
I and my siblings had to take Mum to hospital once,believe me it was just horrible.
I remember being amazed on how she looked when they’d cleaned her up. But whenever I remembered the incidents or even worse just hearing it, I couldn’t bear it,all I thought about was to kill him but i couldn’t cause I knew she loved him still,even if I was strong enough i knew i would be hurting her still,so I just hold on and let the anger die,he was still my father after all,though it did get so difficult and I didn’t always want to go home after school,i rather stay out late sometimes with my mates.
We encountered this counsellor who talked to my Mum, and me and my sisters together.
Cause I grew up having trust issues,I couldn't even trust my partner nor express how I felt. I sometimes pictured him like my father and end up causing a scene but my hubby is one great gentleman, he understands me better than I understand myself and has thought me to move on with life,I want the best for my kids and I wouldn't want them to suffer the way I did so I had to change my mindset though it was a bit difficult but I had to try.
Somehow it all began to seem better and I felt it was okay and possible to move on.

Well well that's how domestic violence can affect one's life.

How to stop Domestic violence
Though there's a law against but not active maybe because victims are scared to open up maybe because they were threatened.
Though Children are better able to cope and recover from it if they get right support or care from peer groups,family,society etc
Be open enough to report to the police,they are indeed our friends or if you are shy or scared, drop it into any suggestion box around you.

Note there's a difference between a home and a house.
A home

A house:

Give your kids a home and not a house,most kids rather live on the streets happy than live in a mansion where there's no peace.
#Ahomenotahouse
#saynotodomesticviolence

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Thanks for reading