I like the beginning better than the end. The end trails off a bit for me, not as strong as your strong beginning. I like the structure, the "i'm not...." an armature on which the rest of it hangs.
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I like the beginning better than the end. The end trails off a bit for me, not as strong as your strong beginning. I like the structure, the "i'm not...." an armature on which the rest of it hangs.
Yeah, this one was a tough one. Imagine writing something someone you're basically looking right at because you can't speak to them. Imagine the things you wouldn't say to their face, but would give anything to communicate.
I was basically doing that. I didn't plan to write this poem, it just kinda slipped out. So the tapering off is evidence that I was just scribbling madly when I was supposed to be paying attention in Seminar :P
The "I'm not" thing was quite spontaneous, but it was right for what I wanted to say. With this person, there's a lot of "meh," but it beats loneliness.
Thanks for reading, as always <3