Pride and parenting
Reflecting on my past I touched a nerve within myself. As a child and young adult in times when I would get in trouble my father would say “I’m not angry, I’m disappointed. I tell everyone how proud I am of you and you go and do this.” I heard this dozens of times growing up. As a highly emotional being I took it to heart, not in a positive way either I might add.
My experiences after those words often were met with self-loathing, and sour thoughts “ why doesn’t he tell ME he’s proud of me.” “ am I a disappointment, and how do I not fail.”
Depression and anxiety had already been griping me at these points. My self-worth was minimal most times. My heart sore for attention and acceptance.
I became more introverted as time went on, I am different now as an adult but these words defined my inner self in many ways.
How do I Instill self-worth in my child and not do what my father did?
The answer-
Value my children always, tell them their worth, praise them for hard work and love them without bias.
You see bias can be the hardest part of ourselves to reflect upon, my biases range from thinking it’s normal for somebody to drink alcohol everyday, I don’t drink, but I worked two years in a liquor store seeing how wrong that bias was and the people that I know who are like that aren’t actually as okay as I had previously thought. Our bias can range from thinking just because a child can not speak that he isn’t thinking in words. When in reality from zero to three their neuroplasticity is comparable to a programmable computer, capable of absorbing massive amounts of stimuli and forming the first pathways.
What I’m trying to say is, depression, alcoholism and intelligence can all be improved on. Humans are ultimately capable of anything. Sometimes all you have to do is realize that your bias tells you that although it seems like these are fixed issues with a little elasticity our paths can be reformed.
Don’t get stuck on the same pathways. Change things up form new paths.
Blockchain too is like this, it’s maturing. At first it was just bitcoin then numerous other ideas have come many of which remain unknown and weak while others have grown stronger more plastic, blockchain is a brain, it may become exactly as vitalik buterin calls it, a world computer. Holding all of our knowledge in real time? I worry about singularity in this mind frame but I would much rather that than another world war so let’s push to strengthen the good pathways in ourselves and learn enough to strengthen good chains in the Blockchain. Work toward a world free from political corruption and suppression of tech knowledge and value that the people who have it all aren’t willing to share. I hope someday people work for their own benefit rather than line the pockets of the pyramid scheme fiat created with the federal reserve.
Much love
P.s
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You're correct in saying that we have to change our pathways - the underlying problem is that people are fixed in habit and do not adapt to change well... I suppose that is why they try to find shortcuts... That is also the reason things don't work out. Not 100% effort. Just my opinion. :) Good article though.
Their neuropathways are hardwired right because as we age our pathways become rigid and our beliefs , ideals become more and more permanent. Being open minded from the get go is the only way to change that kind of bias from forming. It’s never too late. The effort is necessary from adults who don’t have he open minded pathway well formed