Don't Look Back...

"Don't look back..."

Those last words bounced through my head like a babies toy rattle, relentlessly. Yet I didn't look, perhaps to keep my last memory of her somewhat sacred. Although the urge was like trying to thread a needle with gloves on, very fucking frustrating. Who knows maybe I would have been turned into a pile of salt if I did.

I remember the last ice cream cone we shared together like it was yesterday, I guess it actually was yesterday, but it was really hot and humid and I insisted on the creamy cold refresher after seeing her lying in a pool of figurative sweat. The walk to the beach was interesting, we spoke fervently about how awesome it would be to live inside a video game. It was agreed that Poke'mon was the world of choice if one had to suddenly find themselves stuck in such a predicament.

Her laugh was insatiable, truly, I couldn't help but smile when I heard it. When she laughed at my jokes it seemed like it was always the funniest joke she had ever heard. I knew when she did laugh it was sincere because she didn't laugh at my jokes often.

Her golden blond hair floated effortlessly on the ocean breeze as she slowly licked her ice cream, toes fiddling with the beach sand, eyes gazing wonderingly into the horizon. Her face was beautiful to me. No other word would do and at the same time no single word could.
"Luke!" She said turning her head swiftly in my direction.
I jumped not expecting it, "yes?"
Her big blue eyes always seemed to penetrate deeply into who I was as if I would never be able to hide a secret from her.
"I'd be Pikachu!"
I laughed, "you look like a Pikachu."
She bared a wide smile, "Well naturally."
"I'm definitely a Charazard!" I thrust my fist up toward the sky.
"More like a Weedle." She muttered under her breath but so that I could still hear her.
"Well its the heart that counts at the end of the day. That's the true measure of strong Poke'mon!"
"Said like the bravest Weedle I know." She said smiling, then turning back to gaze at the horizon once more.
I too turned my eyes to scan the endless ocean horizon. I remember thinking to myself its a strange thing; looking into infinity.

"Are you done with that?" she asked.
I had zoned out thinking about infinity and half my ice cream had been executed by the sun and settled into a neat puddle in the sand.
"Shit I zoned out!"
She laughed at me and I laughed at myself.
"Thinking about infinity?" She asked.
"Yeah... How did you know?"
"You just had that look but be careful, for infinity is a foreverful play"
"A foreverful play?" I asked with a puzzled look on my face.
"Yes" she said, "a foreverful play that we act out with every breath. A play that never ends and never really began. The magical play of Creation!"
She was always mystical like this, sometimes I knew what she meant and other times not but I always knew what she spoke of was something true.
"And who directs this magical play?" I inquired. "Every play needs a director."
"Why you do!" she said, as if to imply that I already knew the answer to my own question.
"Well then wouldn't that make me God?"
All she did was look at me and smile and in that moment I knew, looking into each others eyes I knew...

"You can't leave me!" I shouted. "Not now, please!"
I reached over to hold her tightly in my arms.
"You will do great things for this world, Luke."
"I need you."
I knew I didn't and so did she but I couldn't help but say it because if anything, in that moment, I knew that I wanted her to stay more than life itself.
"Don't worry I'm not really leaving you."
"You are, Carla!"
"I'll still be with you, all you need to do is remember me."
"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"
"Well kinda and its true! I'm alive in your memories."
"I can't hold you in my memories."
"Are your memories of me that shallow? Come now, you know I'll be back one day."
"Damn you! Just kiss me one last time."
I placed my hand gently on her face and slowly eked her toward me for one last kiss. The warm light of the sunset over the calm ocean painted quite the scene. I wanted that moment and that kiss to last forever. And as the moment had ended, a feeling as if it would washed over me. I direct my foreverful play I thought to myself. And with that and one last smile she said...

"Don't look back..."

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I hope you enjoyed my short story, wrote in in late Oct 2013, thought i would share it here with you guys. Let me know what you guys think of it, criticism always welcome. More poetry and short stories to come!

Photo-manipulation was made by me. You can check out the rest of my art here: https://dancrystalis.deviantart.com