I hate writing on SteemIt. What is this website? People writing for money. The system doesn't feel fair to me. It doesn't seem to make sense why some articles are voted up so much while others aren't. Just scrolling through the list on the opening page makes me want to make money with what I write, but I don't want to have to play the game of finding out how to do that, writing quality should be enough. The system of voting is weird too. Okay maybe I just didn't do the research good enough. But I don't feel like doing it. I don't even understand this system. Oh god. I imagine myself giving a name to this stream of consciousness: I hate SteemIt. And then people reading this, thinking: 'Then why does she write on SteemIt...?!' Fair enough. Am I saying what everyone is thinking: if you like writing anyway, why not post in on SteemIt as well, just to see if it makes money? To be honest, I think SteemIt will create a lot more crap, just because people are willing to try to put everything out there that they have written. I just want to write my stream of consciousness, because I enjoy the release, I enjoy the spiritual practice, not sure if I should use these words on SteemIt. Clearly I'm trying to write what people will be wanting to read so that I get votes and money. Great. But writing stream of consciousness doesn't work that way, so now I'm just writing this. Very honest thoughts. That might make for a nice title. I notice I'm thinking much more about how this will look to others now that I'm writing in so consciously on SteemIt. Maybe next time I'll write it on my blog again instead, and then just copy past it to here instead of the other way round. Although I kind of like all the shit that comes up as well. Do I really like shit coming up? Today has been a day of shit. Very conscious of my triggers, digging the hell out of that. Crying a few times this day, it's not even 3PM yet. We're going to a swimming hole after this. Maybe I should end this stream and go now, for it will get colder. And sun will set at 6. I'm so in for swimming in fresh nature water now. Omg. All the processes today. I'm done. I want a vacation from myself. Whooh, that doesn't sound very self-loving. I would wish to want to be with myself all the time. I feel like this stream isn't long enough yet. Fuck that.