The Apple in my Uncle's Eyes 祖辈爱情（四）: 那些年惹过的“花花草草”

My uncle is the protagonist of this story. He was short and dwarfed when he was young, and girls at that time would not marry to a poor young man like him. Well, except my aunt. Be impressed by my uncle's kindness, my aunt not only married to him, but also married to a bitter-sweet life. After making a fortune at his middle-age, my uncle had affairs for a long time that my aunt left him with a broken heart. Before long, my uncle went broke. My aunt was the only one who kept him company and shouldered the responsibilities of the family.

I'd like to share this story to the newly brides. You may marry to talent and noble, or even beauty and wealth, but never ever marry to "be treated well and feeling good".

Perhaps we all agree that true love was too luxurious in the hard times. One should obey parents' order when choosing spouse. However, there were always some girl silly enough to marry to the so called love.

My uncle was struggle to find a wife due to his mediocre appearance and ability. Someone brought him and a petite girl together until the girl changed her mind and stayed with one of my uncle's neighbors. The reason was that man owned a toufu mill which provided several pieces to satisfy her hunger when she had nothing to eat. My aunt met my uncle when she visited relatives in a mere coincidence. My uncle tried his very best to win her heart and married her finally.

After marriage, my aunt worked hard to everything she could do to make a living: feeding pigs and chickens, farming, knitting sweaters, to name a few. My uncle also succeeded to open a fireworks factory and a sweater factory, which let him become the well-known richest man in our town. I still remember when everyone was poor and desperate to save money to buy a black and white TV, my uncle had already bought a large color TV, not to mention cars and trucks.

People say that men become unfaithful easily after getting rich. In his factory, surrounded by naive and easily fooled girls and married women whose husband worked far away from home, my uncle played with their emotions. Most of the young girls were just for his money. But there was exception beyond your imagination. One of my neighbor next door, the wife whose husband worked in Shanghai, had affairs with my uncle. They even had a baby! My aunt was heart-broken. She left my uncle and live with her son. She refused to take one penny from my uncle. She moved to an unoccupied plant to make a living by raising livestock.

But uncle went far beyond rational and continued to ask for my aunt's sacrifice.

As the saying goes, harmony brings wealth. Indulged himself in woman, my uncle didn't pay much attention to his business. When he couldn't pay salary on time due to the debts delay, it was my aunt again, without hesitation, withdrew years of savings and gave it to my uncle. But not for long, the market went down and debts piled up. My uncle's factory closed down after all his salvage efforts.

My uncle was up to his neck in debt. He hided himself and the family in a small village inside city in southern China. Ten years of hard life passed by. When I was in high school, he finally repaid all his debts by doing all kinds of works for others.

I remember once in a summer vacation, I sneaky to see him. For the sake of hiding from creditors, they lived in a room in a two-story tenement with the un-paint wall which looked like it would fall apart soon. The tenants of entire two floors shared only one bathroom and a tap. During daytime, the landlord would yell at you to use the public toilet two hundred meters away. It was like a battle field with the landlord while using water.

Everyone had already left my uncle, except my aunt. In order to earn enough money to support their family, she worked in a factory paid by quantity, ironing clothes. She worked day and night in a plant over forty degrees centigrade in summer so as to earn more than others.

Until now, as younger generation, I could not understand the relationship between my uncle aunt. May be in my thirties, I no longer focused on love itself, but more concerned about love in marriage. In most of the marriage, love is like ice melting into glass of water. Is it still ice?

Aunt is a dutiful and perseverance person. She always keeps her promises in her life no matter what happens. She lives without regrets. In contrast, my uncle went through a life with ups and downs on account of his irresponsibility when he was young.

As for now, they live a insipid life. I would say that without my aunt's persist and sacrifice, their family won't stick up to the tough reality. Once survived, one would feel the integrity when all the memory revisit.

If you love a man from the very beginning, you will still get the strength to build up your marriage even if love disappeared completely.

故事的主人公是我的大伯，他年轻的时候一无所有，因为个头矮其貌不扬，只有我大妈（我们这儿喊大伯母为大妈）看中他“待她好”嫁给他，体会一起吃苦的幸福；中年发迹，大伯惹过数不清的花花草草，逼走我大妈；再到家道中落，唯有我大妈扶老携幼，陪他吃苦，相伴到老。

仅以此篇送给即将结婚的姑娘们，你可以嫁给才华，嫁给涵养，甚至嫁给颜值，乃至金钱，但万万不能只是嫁给“他对我好”。

可能大家觉得那个吃不饱饭的年代没有爱情，都是父母之命媒妁之言，但是似乎任何年代都不缺傻姑娘。

因为大伯年轻的时候长相平庸没有一技之长，已经大龄男青年的年纪也没讨到老婆，之前隔壁村的婶婶给介绍了一个头也很娇小的给我大伯，处着处着被隔壁同姓邻居给挖墙脚了，因为隔壁家有个祖传的豆腐坊，就算没有饭吃，每天可以吃一两块豆腐。一次机缘巧合，我大妈串亲戚时认识了我大伯，大伯鞍前马后很是殷勤，就这么成了。

婚后，大妈很能吃苦，养猪养鸡干农活织毛衣样样在行，大伯亦很志气的开了一家鞭炮厂，一家羊毛衫厂，在我们那十里八乡的简直成了家喻户晓的首富。尤其记得，在大家都一穷二白，拼命攒钱买黑白电视的时候，大伯家就洋气的买了大彩电，小轿车，大卡车。

俗话说得好，男人有钱就变坏，尤其是我大伯的羊毛衫厂里有很多少不更事的外地小姑娘，以及老公在外家打工的小媳妇，大伯开始流连百花丛中，不过外地的姑娘们大都是为了他的钱，玩玩也就罢了；当时闹得最凶的是，是我们家隔壁异姓邻居，她老公一直在上海打工，跟我大伯一来二去，时间久了，还给我大伯生了一个胖小子。大妈很要强，知道后，黯然神伤，带着儿子跟大伯分居，也不要我大伯的一分钱，自己搬到闲置的厂房，养猪养鸡自给自足。

大伯却没有任何收敛，变本加厉的挥霍大妈对她的感情。

家和才能万事兴，忙于百花丛中的大伯，估计也没有太多的心思花在事业上，后期因为生意款项要不回来，发不出工资，大妈依然毫不犹豫的掏出了多年的积蓄给大伯，支持他。可惜好景不长，市场不景气，追不回的款项越来越多，大伯借遍了亲朋好友的积蓄，厂还是倒闭了。

大伯面临着银行贷款，以及各类亲朋好友的债务无力偿还，带着一家老小躲债到江南的一个城中村，一躲就是十年，在外地打工生存很艰辛，直到我上高中那会大伯才能力慢慢偿还完债务。

记得一次暑假，我偷偷摸摸的去看我大伯，生怕被债主知道来要债，他们住在一个二层的群租房中的一间，水泥的危楼一样，墙面连石灰粉都没有刷，两层楼公用一个不能冲水的厕所，以及一个水龙头，白天的时候上厕所，房东还会来训斥，让走到两百米开外的公共厕所去，用水也是特别斤斤计较，恨不能跟房东打游击战。

当年的花花草草早已离开，大妈不离不弃的跟着大伯，为了挣钱养家，那会去一家熨衣服的工厂，记得是按照衣服的个数算钱，大妈为了比别人多熨衣服，没日没夜的加班，大夏天厂房里面的白天的温度都不止四十度，大妈身上都是热出的水泡。

直到现在，我作为小辈也无法懂得大伯和大妈之间情感。可能是到了而立之年，和身边的人谈起爱情，已不再像年轻时那样专注于爱情本身，而是更多地关注婚姻里的爱情，大多数的婚姻里，爱情就像是化入杯水中的冰块，你说它还是冰块吗？

大妈是个本分的人，坚忍的人，她是用一辈子在信守自己的承诺，是无愧于心的。作为大伯，他的人生起落和年轻时的一身风流债应该是有着莫大关联的。

至于如今，他们生活也算是平淡，也好转了。哀莫大于心死，要是当初大妈有一丝的动摇，这个家可能也就散了。但坚守住了，可能也是对年轻时的自己一个交代吧。

如果你和那个男人最初有爱情，哪怕之后，爱情消失得一干二净，留下的痕迹也是婚姻稳固的最好基石。

原文：@hannahwu 祖辈爱情（四）：那些年惹过的“花花草草”
译者: @kidult00