It will be a good day when we get it over 祖辈爱情(五):好日子也能慢慢熬出来

in #writing7 years ago (edited)

Some of the ancestral love we talked about is in fact some experience, and in their eyes its life. After talking about my parents’ past and my story, its the time to share the story about my aunt at last. She is so called distant cousin on the generation.

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姑母地道农村妇人,没念过什么书。在乡下,到了谈婚论嫁的年龄,无非就是长辈之命,媒妁之言。老一辈给她寻摸了一房亲,离娘家近,姑父年轻时候有些小聪明,就成了这门亲。
婚后一子一女,表哥比我大好多,表姐比我大一岁。

My aunt is a local farm women, and has not been to school. In the countryside, there is nothing more than the order of the elders and the words of the matchmakers. The older generation helped her seek for a husband’s family near her parents. Then they got married as my uncle was a litte smart when he was young.

After marriage, they had a son and daughter, and my cousin brother is much older than me, and my cousin sister is one year older than me.

日子平淡,由于我父亲这辈人都很拼搏,不愿平常,都在奔波忙事业。姑父也不甘无为,就做起了禽蛋批发的买卖。90年左右在小码头边租了个门脸,自己买了一辆“幸福牌”大摩托,后面绑上两根木棍儿,再挂上蛋框,便四处走街串巷,干起了收鸡蛋,倒腾往上海去卖。
应该是和性格有关系,这门生意做了没几年,做不下去了,说是亏了钱,就把店门关了。

The days are ordinary. The generation like my father worked hard and were busy with running business as they did not want to be normal. My uncle also started trading eggs in wholesale. In about 1990’s, he rent a shop in the small dock, and bought a big “happiness”motorcycle, tied two sticks at the back,and then put the egg box. They walked around the streets, collected the eggs , and went to Shanghai to sell them. They had done the business for a few years but ended up with it as they were losing money, so the shop was closed down then.

没了生意,只能靠种田,两个孩子越来越大,生活日益拮据。

They could only rely on farming without business. Their children were getting bigger, and the life was increasingly tight.

早年,表姑妈逢年过节经常看看我奶奶,因为小的时候是我奶奶带大的。后来逐渐就来得稀少了。我读了高中,在学校旁租了个屋子,平常不回去,也就基本见不到表姑妈一家。但是每逢回到家,还是能听到他们家的事情。

In the earlier years, my aunt always went to see my grandmother during festivals as she was raised by my grandmother when she was smaller. But she gradually scarcely came afterwards. I rarely saw my aunt’s family as i usually had few time to go back. At that time i rented a house near school when i was in high school. But every time i got home, i still could hear about their family.

日子难过,家里吵架,两口子难以维持。据说表姑妈来一次就哭一回,说怎么嫁了这么个没长性的人。表姑父那些年的为人,我那会虽年纪小,都略有些看不起。

It was the difficult time that the couple quarreled at home,and could not maintain their life. It was said that my aunt cried once in one time when she was back at home, and complained how she could marry with such a boring man. In those years i was a little bit despised for my uncle although i was in my earlier years.

第一件事,借钱。
把家里的负担全部抛出来,扔给了表姑妈的父母和一众亲戚,可能是因为表姑妈娘家人有钱吧。自己的女儿、姐姐日子苦了,借点钱过日子,也就都给了。岂料想,竟是个无底洞。一到过年过节,就见到表姑父去借钱,千儿八百不嫌少,万儿八千不嫌多。时间一长也就都厌烦了。表姑妈嫌丢人,不让他去,还是要去借,孩子的学费差了一点都要去借。有一次,表姑父去他岳父家借钱,老爷子一开始不愿意借,数落他怎么不能自己想办法挣点钱,让妻子儿女也过得好一点。但是得到的回复就是软磨硬泡,还是没钱,就要借。无奈,老头把儿子儿媳给他过年的五千块钱拿出来,愤怒地扔到地上,大声喝道,拿走拿走,滚出去!表姑父竟弯下来把钱拿走了。

The First thing is to borrow money.

My uncle threw all the burden on my aunt’s parents and relatives, it might be because my aunt’s family had some money. My family gave them money when they say she had a tough time. Unexpectedly,it was always a bottomless pit. We always saw my uncle borrow money during festivals, one thousand eight hundred not too few, eighteen thousand not too much. We got bored of him with time passing by. My aunt felt ashamed, and did not let him go to borrow, but he still went to borrow money when the children were short of tuition. Once my uncle went to borrow from his father in law, but the Father did not want to lend him, and criticized that he could not find ways to make some money so that his wife and daughter had a better life. However, he kept complaining they lacked money, and must borrow money. Helplessly, the Father lent him 5 thousand which his daughter in law gave to him, threw angrily to the ground, and shouted, “take away,get out!” Unexpectedly My uncle bent down to pick up the money.

第二件事,不上进。

眼看着表姑妈的日子艰难,家里人都在替他们想办法。考虑表姑父没文化,我父亲就给他在工地上安排了个仓管员的事儿做,2000年左右,一个月两千多块。表姑父答应去了,工作应该不算辛苦,但是做了半年,就回家了。我父亲去问问到底怎么回事,是不是受委屈了,还是跟人打架了。表姑父的老母亲直接说了一句,我儿子吃不了这苦哦。

人言道,可怜之人有其可恨之处。

The second thing is not motivated.

Our family saw my aunt have difficult days and they were trying to find ways for them.
Considering that my uncle did not go to school, my father arranged him a job as a warehouse clerk. In year 2000, there were over 2000 yuan one month. My uncle agreed to go to work, and the job should not be so hard. But after 6 months he returned home. My father asked him what was going on, and whether he suffered any injustice or fighted with others. My uncle’s mother said directly, my son could not bear this sufferings.

People often said,where there is s pathetic one,there is a damned one.

但我表姑妈虽对表姑父怨声载道,哭鼻抹泪这么多年。从未说过想放弃这个家庭,自己干农活又去厂里上班,也硬是熬了这么多年。

However,although my aunt complained with my uncle for so many years, she never said that they wanted to give up this family. She not only went to do some farming, but also worked with the factory. It was so hard to live together for so many years.

最近这几年倒是没听表姑父借钱了,上一次还是我上高中的时候,他找我父亲借钱,我父亲给了他两万,本来都没指望能还,等我拿到录取通知书的时候,表姑父一天晚上来我家把钱还给了我父亲。现在表姑父他们年纪大了,子女也都成了家。奶奶说,他们穷,有怨气,但从来不动手,日子熬也能熬出来。

In recent years, i did not hear my uncle borrow money. Last time when I was in high school, he asked my father to borrow money, and my father lent him twenty thousand. Although we had no hope of taking back, he came to our home to give back the money on one night when I got the admission notice. Now my uncle is getting older, and their children have their own families. My grandmother said that they were poor and resentful, but they never fighted with each other. They have been through the hard time already.

我再想,其实表姑父和表姑母就是简单的人,可以说是不成熟,也可以说他们没有所谓那些成功的富人的拐弯心思,不会想着能挣多大钱,成为什么样的人,然后再为了钱弄得分崩离析。他们只想过普通的,简单的日子,和和睦睦,不分不离。

I think again in fact, my uncle and aunt are very simple and immature. They don’t have the turning point of the so-called successful rich people, and they will not think about making much money, and becoming what kind of people they want to, who finally break apart for money. They only think of living an ordinary and simple life, and becoming harmonious and inseparable.
作者: @hannahwu
译者: @rainbowlin

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ordinary people with ordinary love.

😎i really enjoy the love story among ordinary couples.

It is sometimes helpful to share a story like this, as it gets difficult things to talk about into the open. It can be a stress relief.

Many relationships have difficult times. The ones that survive are the ones that are strong enough to make it through the tough times, and continue on.

I hope things are good for your aunt and uncle. Thanks for sharing.

Marriage is not esay. it is not as passionate as love. We all need to go through up and downs to run a successful Marriage.

Yes this is true.

I've read your blog. Your blog has learned about the hard times of your life. But thank you very much for your cousin because your cousin helped you a lot. Your dad has worked very hard. Hopefully the next moments will be better.

Thank you. wish the life Will become better and better in the new year.

都说贫贱夫妻百事哀,经济上的困窘多少会给家庭带来很多鸡飞狗跳。但过去的人相对简单,和我们相比较,东西坏了,他们更倾向于去修而不是换,这个原则同样适用于对婚姻的态度上。
我们这代会不理解上一代,觉得他们不够洒脱想不开;他们同样觉得我们不懂得珍惜,遇到艰难就轻易放弃

是的,现实中,只有富家千金才能喜欢穷困浪子呀~能用钱解决的都是小事。

超级支持这句,能用钱解决的都是小事~

it seems reasonable.

Thank you.

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