As time passed by, I let my soul, my secrets pass into her and I soon realized what my passions were who I was. I was a separate individual. I realized what life was. She showed me life, and was an inseparable part of me by then. Often I used to wait for her, and unnoticeable I had started to dream about her. I did not notice just when she, with all her colors diffused into my soul, my body and my mind, and took over my existence.
We started hanging out together, for ice cream, for parties, for walks, and often she would come down to my house and we would talk hours and I could not believe that I, who was a snail of a person, began to chatter happily.
She changed my entire being, the meaning of me and of course made sure I changed my bandage every day after one day I accidentally cut myself with a razor blade in the library. She had then turned paler than I had gone due to the bleeding, jaundiced, she touched my blood and blessed it with her "love dust" like I would rightfully call it. Like filling the wound of the razor blade, she washed every wound in my soul, washed off every scar off my personality. The physical and the mental wound healed soon with time.
One day, I heard she met with an accident and was in the hospital. I was transfixed. My world tore apart and I immediately rushed to the hospital. Looking at her on the bed arose feelings in me that i had never experienced before. A feeling and a wish that I could go and hug her, love her, assure her that nothing in the world could take her away from me, she was born an angel, and God took care of angels. She was divine. The only thing in the world that was eternal, and that would last forever. She was immortal. Overwhelmed by feelings, I approached her when she felt better and knelt on my knees. I held her hand. This was the most wonderful feeling that i could ever have experienced. I would have given my whole life for that one moment.
That was the one moment that gave me the courage to talk it out. I was burning with a desire to come close to her, to make her feel secure. I could not believe it was me, who had a feeling of securing someone. My lips began to tremble. In the evening light that thrust itself like a curtain on the floor of the hospital room, I started to cry. The warm fluid running down my cheeks had a certain similarity with the warmth my heart was burning in. I kissed her hand, and wanted time to stop.
In the golden light, I sat there, motionless. I started saying things I wouldn’t have said normally. It was like a magic thread that was connecting us at that moment, in that silent room where words were not needed and everything I was feeling flowed out to her and I did not let go of her hand. I wanted to hold that hand forever. She was the prism that split the white light that encircled my life into the rainbow colors. Like a fairy who whispered into my ear, the tales of life and color and like the first drop of rain that strikes a barren ground. She would live; I knew that because mortality was a trait that belonged to men. She was not a human being, she was divine. After a week, she recovered from the wounds and scars. The week we did not talk about my proposal. It seemed too out of time.
On 26th December, I asked her out and she accepted. The next picture I get of us is me sitting in the candle light, biting my tongue every now and then in an utter sense of nervousness. After about 15 minutes she entered, dressed in black. Suddenly I felt a lump in my throat-she was too beautiful. In a moment, she sat next to me and i was jerked back to senses. We naturally began talking and throughout I kept looking at her into the eyes, which she was apparently unaware of. The eyes that had that certain depth inside them that my character had always lacked. I could swim into her blackest eyes forever for they had certain hypnotism about them. I could not hold up myself any longer.
"So, you thought about what I said that day?"
"err, I was unconscious back then. I did get the hint but I was waiting for you to bring up the subject again."
"All I want to say is, that all my life I have lived an empty life, my soul has rattled with the emptiness and loneliness. You showed me how to live, showed me the colors of life. Here when I speak, I do not wish to be philosophical or assure you like every other person how much I care, but to deeply express the magic of you which has resided inside me. I feel that you were made for me. Made to come as a messiah in my life.
Every step I took since the day I learnt how to walk was a step towards finding you. Every tear that I shed and every lonely moment I spent was to assure me that there would once be fairy who would show me life. You see destiny has a funny way when it takes all your cares away. I can’t think of anything, other than what a beautiful state I’m in, where you've taken over my existence.
Every second, you take over another inch of me. Believe me when I say you've spread like the blood in my veins. If you tell me to stop loving you, I would not be able to do so unless you kill me, unless you drain every drop of blood that I possess and take away every breath that i breathe, for you are the air I breathe." I paused and not being able to control my emotions.
I held her hand. "I would never force you for anything but I just wanted you to know how you've completed me.
I just know that when God was creating pairs for men, he did not pair me up. That is the reason I was lonely all my life. But just now I realized that instead of pairing me up, he, with a blade, cut me into two and blessed me with my other half that is you.
Trust me you're like a rose in the desert I was, and if you allow me, I would give my life away to turn that beautiful rose into a garden. I’ve shared my soul with you, and now I would like to share my life with you.
" She was literally in tears and I could see her mascara laden eyes gleaming with those drops that I would absorb inside me and never let even one of them fall to the ground and be wasted. I wiped off her tears and looked at her for a response.
"I am all yours. Never has anyone made me realize what I mean to them and as for you, you were the aim of my life, back then, and even now. Take me away." and she started crying. I kissed her hand. It was the most intense moment for me as we both looked into the sacred flame.
All my dreams that had for once subsided were waking up. I looked into the flame and into the holiness of it, as it added to the beauty of the moment, the sacredness of it-the divinity of it. It looked like the angels above had held hands and threw showers of happiness and bliss on the two that were now bonded. She looked at me with her usual modest grace and blushed.
Her cheeks glowed like flowers in their full bloom. I reached out for her hand and we stood up, making our way out of the restaurant for a walk. It was the best moment of my life, the one for which I still prostrate before God. The silence was warm and we did not say a word for the rhythm of the silence and the stars that danced, celebrated our joy.
Looking above, I saw a full moon, glistening with its beauty and completeness, a silver orb reflecting the beauty and the pleasure of the moment. We joined into a meek but loving embrace and I felt we were each others' forever. Nothing in the world would part us now, not even death for even if the death reaper knocked my door, I would not spare it. I felt like I would never let go of her and would protect her in my arms, from the harsh weather of the world. I would nest her like that into my embrace, and would never let cold air touch her cheeks. Indeed, the heavenly minister of love had written our fate with golden words into the books of our lives and there came the big day when she was dressed as a beauteous bride, sitting next to me and with hopes and wishes for our future. She looked like a piece of heaven, descended to bless the mortals with her sacredness. That was the most memorable night of my life where we were legally bonded into unison. I promised her I would never let her down but never did I know I was so bad at keeping promises.
To be continued................................