New Job, New Life, New Me

I have been busy... working like crazy. Thats a bit of a lie, Many people work more hours/harder work. But of course it's all relative, those who have built up endurance can go for harder and longer, I'm still getting back into that swing of things.
I was doing my own thing for a while, working on some of my own pursuits and helping out my parents on the side but beyond that i dort of felt a pointlessness of existence, like they say "idle hands are the devils workshop."
Some days i think the existence we have come up with as humans is a bizarre one, study so you can get a good job, or work hard... work hard, to make money to afford stuff. But this lifestyle tends to also trap peoople in a life where they just have to work, to pay for all their stuff they bought, because of course things require time and often money. Repeat this until you are old and frail and mostly unable to enjoy things as fully as you could have in your younger years. I'm not saying that work is pointless, in fact the opposite, but you have to be careful which ladder you are climbing in life because you could reach the top one day only to realize the ladder you were so intent on climbing wasn't really what you wanted, it's not the ladder that would have lead to happiness, which is something i think we are all questing after but it takes on various forms for each individual.
What i think is pointless is a life based solely around oneself, i mean one must of course look out for yourself first and foremost but beyond that a life just centered around oneself could be a missed opportunity to enrich ones own life while also enriching the lives of others. I mean maybe i can explain it in a slightly different way, if all you do in your life is chase material possesisions, well... we all gotta go one day, and are you going to take those things to the grave with you? Meanwhile when we are in service for others, those actions will live on forever... because in some small way we affected someone else, and this in turn will lead to them affecting othe people and so on and so on.
I'm not saying that we shouldn't chase wealth or material possessions if there is something that you want and it will bring you and others joy because of it for sure don't stop yourself, nor should one be a doormat for others.
Anyways I was starting off talking about a new job and got super philosophical but i have felt so great and alive recently just being of service, showing up, doing my best, engaging with the world more.
In the past a lot of the jobs i had I would dread the time spent at work and even dread in anticipation like going to work... if I had a few hours before work I felt a bit uneasy even like knowing work was coming up and thinking about it constantly... now i am more keen to just live in the moment and not let myself get caught up in that whole 'future' mentality because it's just like taking away your present moment for something not even real, some idea off in the future basically. I think i have come a long way now that even if I was now doing one of those jobs i previously dreaded, I feel i could 'be happy' and set aside thoughts of 'this sucks' sort of thing while at work... I think it's also true that often we can draw some sort of imaginary line between 'work' and 'play' but if we want to, everything can be made into a sort of game and be fun. if we want it to be. But also beyond that, i think because i do have a choice of what job i could do i must of course go and choose the best one for me because otherwise i will not develop and even could look at it like i would be depriving someone or a group of people my actual skills when more or less anyone could do the less specialized jobs.
Having said that, I actually have 2 new jobs, one is chasing hot air balloons, and the pay is a bit crappy (especially to start when we don't know what we are doing and take longer) and it's quite physical work but honestly i think it's good for me, there is a lot of jogging around involved too and it's good for my ankle which is still occasionally a bit sore after breaking it last year but it's gotta be worked out, you don't use it you lose it right? Sitting around on my ass doing projects is fun but it's gotta be more balanced out with some physicality.
It's been tough to find time to post, I have a lot of project posts to share, not shure how into those people are but at the same time I think if you are genuinely interested in something it will show and people will sort of see a bit of that themselves.
The other job is installing speakers, mixers, sound, lighting and audio visual equipment and it's fun, i get to use drills and tools and stuff and those skills I was talking about. My employer is a local music store called musiccitycanada.com and it's a cool group of people, people really into music are often interesting people and everyone that I work with is so cool plus is awesome to be surrounded in this environment, I heard that if you want to go anywhere in the music industry you should work in some capacity or another in the music industry. For years I thought about dropping off my resume there, I spoke to people at the shop that told me to bring my resume by. But i never did, i felt my resume was 'lame' and the longer i sat there thinking that really the lamer it was gonna get(aside from doing courses and other stuff...) but yeahI wrote the owner a big letter the following day after sending my resume and it was an awesome surprise to get an email from someone working there asking if I was available to come and help out with a trial install. I mean it's still very early days but i know that if i keep doing my best it's a no brainer. I actually met the owner today because I hadn't properly met him yet and he was saying that finding people that can perform at a top level was especially difficult and it does seem that way. It's like in Ayn Rands book Atlas Shrugged, the story is that finding actual, decent hardworking people that took the responsibility to take command and get the required tasks and job done is a tough call. People are afraid, make excuses, don't have good morals and/or work ethic. And of course everyone loves the idea of some fancy job but then there is the reality of getting up and doing the things and that is what really separates the wheat from the chaff... if you really want to, or "have" to, you'll just do it. Otherwise you won't and come up with excuses why you couldn't and rational-lise that to your self. Of course things do happen but yeah it also takes discipline and willpower do it... because at the end of the day, we don't really 'need' to do anything, we can just all be 'lazy' and say to heck with it but we don't because we 'choose' to do the work because it's the right thing to do and we know that mindless self indulgence isn't going to bring you true happiness at the end of it all.
It's funny that Ayn Rand seems to get so much hate but on the flipside she does get a lot of love because i think she has a lot of good points and perspectives, one day I hope to write the article on her I've been meaning to and my thoughts because they do deserve their own article. But many of the things she writes about in her books are true and actually happening. Of course we all have 'confirmation bias' but it's hard not to hear some stories of how people are and thing back to her books because if you actually take the time to read some of her stuff she is often misunderstood, or just sort of has a bad reputation because people listen to other people and make their minds up based off that instead of actually doing the groundwork and reading and deciding for themselves. She talks about many things like the value of hard work and is a huge proponent of being selfish, but what i love is that she says not at the expensee of others! This is the part that many people seem to want to forget... she is saying that by lifting ourselves up we can lift others up, that we shouldn't expect or put burdens on other people, that we should look out for ourselves and not lay down our lives for others, we shouldn't sacrifice ourselves for others... It gets a bit muddy because she says Altruism is bad and people could think that means that doing things for others is bad. But she isn't agains't that, she is just saying you should't sacrifice yourself, your own life, vision, ideals because there is someone that thinks they have the right or whatever because they are family or your friend and that therefore you 'should' i mean... we all have to live with other people in some capacity or another and that will involve varying arrangements but the arrangement has to be mutually beneficial, for both parties to benefit, like not one party living off another and just using guilt or something to continue that relationship, she says we shouldn't have to sacrifice ourselves in that sort of situation. It's not an easy thing to explain and I don't think she is right about everything 100% but she has a lot of good takeaways, including the odd notion - that being utterly honest - is the most selfish thing you can do. When i first heard that i didn't understand, but in time it did make sense. If you lie to someone, you omit your own truth, the actual reality of the situation as it was and happened, for some alterior version, a fabrication made up to suit this person in order to be agreeable to them. In other words, you are making this person your master, you are forefeiting your own REALITY for this person and you are subjugating yourself to them as your superior. I mean this is a tricky one, if your wife was really sick and said do I look bad do you have to be honest then too? I am not an "expert" I can't really say but I'm probably sure there is always a way of conveying truth in a way that is loving but of course it's not an easy one. And once one starts lying it gets easier to keep lying as the house of cards starts to pile up. So i definitely think there is some truth to what she is saying... but this got way sidetracked again.
I should finish off because it's getting late and I have to get up at 3:30 to go chase this huge flying balloon around! I will have to get more pics because it's incredibly insanely huge in person, like pictures and videos DO NOT do it justice it's incredibly, incredibly huge in person and seeing it blow up and fly around is pretty crazy. But it's definitely a labor of love cause it's hard work to pack that all away. It carries 12 people at a time and the ballon fabric is like. 600 pounds... I also found out the ballons are made here and I asked if I could see the place one time, and he said sure, it would be cool to see what sort of equipment and space is necessary to make these because it seems to me mind boggling it can be sewn together so neatly.