I am a strong woman, but, I'm still waiting...

It is the eve of Women's Day in South African and the whole of the month of August is dedicated to women and women's issues. Front and centre in the news here at the moment is an incident that took place this past weekend where, the EFF political party silently protested at the Election results announcement over rape. It escalated very quickly with the women being manhandled unnecessarily by the President's security detail and the media and public up in arms over the incident. What will happen? Probably nothing.

As someone who has had their rights breached by an unsuspecting drunk man in a lift on Women's Day, I know that it is very difficult and traumatic to get justice in any kind of harassment, abuse or even rape case in this country.

Let's go back to 9th August 2004 at a hotel in Cape Town where I was on tour with a musical theatre production for a month or so. We were lucky enough to be given the Public Holiday, Women's Day off and had planned a trip to the seaside that day. I awoke early and was relaxed and happy to be able to have a leisurely breakfast before we headed out for our day of fun. But, it was not to be.

On entering the lift to go down to the lobby, I encountered a man in the lift, a doctor, it turned out, who was in town for a medical conference. He said "hi", as some folk who are not silent lift passengers do I said, "hi" back, everything was completely normal...until the lift doors started to close, when he lurched forward, pinning me against the side of the lift, grabbing at my breasts and trying to kiss me. I screamed and tried to wrestle him off me and in doing this managed to stop the lift doors from closing and fell out of the lift on to the carpet. He stepped back, hands in his pockets grinning and chuckling at me. I never expected to lose a bit of my self in a lift to a stranger.

The police arrived, the hotel investigated and the perpetrator was found and brought down to a room somewhere behind the scenes, where he insisted on trying to apologise to me and tell me how he couldn't help himself as I was so pretty! A kind female police officer asked, "Do I want to lay charges?". "YES, of course I do!". I did.

Little did I know that when I woke up the next morning my story was on every front cover of every newspaper in South Africa and probably Africa. Until this happens to you, you don't know how it will make you feel. Millions of people knew about what had happened to me, the show organisers were distraught that it would bring bad publicity to the show, although we all know, there is no such thing as bad publicity, only bad people it seemed. My phone did not stop ringing, more and more media outlets wanting a bit of me too. I had given enough and enough had been taken.
The only positive thing I remember during that time is one woman who came to the stage door a few days later and told me how brave I was and how she wished she had been strong enough to speak out against her sexual assault many years before. So, I did the right thing. It would all be ok.

But it wasn't. I went back to Cape Town a few times to appear in court with the animal who had stolen my safety and altered the course of my life. I turned up and he didn't. It was revealed that the man was a very well known and well respected doctor, a neurosurgeon in fact. He never did come and face the charges brought against him, although I did hear that he had been struck off the medical role, his wife had left him and his life was a mess. Is this justice? I don't know.

I'm ok now, although, I am afraid to ride in lifts on my own. I have no faith in the legal system. I am scared and sad for any and all women who have to deal with abuse of any kind. I understand the fear behind speaking out. I wish it could change, but it probably won't. I am a strong woman but men are bigger than me.