Humbly, I want to express My condolences for Your trauma (I watched a friend murdered on a satanic altar as well as having satanic ritual abuse and just sexual abuse, so I grasp), and offer You something that helped Me.

I can't find a PDF of Choice Theory by William Glasser, but I found this which helps grasp what is put forth in that book (and I'm sure You can buy a copy if interested):

https://wglasser.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/Little-Book-of-Choice-Theory-2019.pdf