Valentines Day personal relationship rant

As Valentines Day approaches, my heart aches ever so more. The relationship we could’ve had, has seemingly turned to dust. I blame the voice that dictates and narrates my life.
I've known for a long time that this girl I like feels the same way as I do to her. I don’t know how it started, but she teases me every time I see her. I thought it was my imagination that she liked me, but a friend noticed how she looked at me, and told me to do something. But I never could muster up the courage to ask her for a date.
I think the red ribbon of fate broke between us after what happened a few days ago. After a group study session, I waited for the girl I adored to pack up her belongings. But the voice in my mind simply said, "He waited for her as she packed her things. He had only hoped for her to take charge of the destiny they shared and only wished if she did something. If only he was confident in asking her, she would be his. But... with uncertainty and doubt in his mind, he said nothing as they left the library.” I don’t know why I listened to this voice. But I hate myself for not doing anything. As a result of this, I walked out with her in silence, and she only said a simple farewell to me. It felt as if something should have happened. Its as if the red ribbon of fate, that seemingly tied us together was torn apart. I don’t know why, but I listened to this voice that popped up in my mind. And I hate myself.
I hate myself for not being able to truly do what it is I wanted to do.
TL;DR guy hating himself for being a pussy.