I am not good at having emotions talkless of expressing them. But there are a few events that shake even the most steady of us. Of all the bad events that have occurred in my short life so far, the one that is singularly by far the worst was the death of my father.

My father - Mr. Freeborn Gbrika

My Dad was my first memory

The earliest memory I have of anything is of my dad laughing. I was too young to know why he was laughing or to even remember the other people that were present at the time. It could have been that I had even done something funny, I'll never know.

My Dad was my personal nurse

As an infant I was very sick. I had a case of broken pneumonia. It was terrible. I spent more days in the hospital than I did outside it. There were attacks that were like asthmatic attacks and these came very regularly when I was little. I can't forget I spent 80% of 2001 in the hospital.

Through all these my dad was always with me. At the hospital, when I was sick at hime, during the attacks, everything. He paid so much attention to me and my health. He knew so much about cold, pneumonia and asthma because he studied a lot about them, just so that he could help me. He was my own personal nurse.

My Dad taught me Discipline, Principle, Courage, Hardwork and Success

I don't know if it because I am the first child, but my dad didn't give me any room to fail at all. He required me to be punctual, neat and organized from a very tender age. He taught me to be courageous. He made me go through experiences that we a little above my age, and i am thankful for that because now i am more mature and experienced than most youths my age.

He taught me to work hard by being a good example of it. He demanded that I put in nothing less than my best in whatever I do. He was the first one to recognize how blessed my mind is, and he always told me

"For you, one plus one should equal 3 (1 + 1 = 3) not two, because you are talented and you should always make full use of your talent. Calculate faster than others because you can.
He taught me to be strong emotionally, to be decisive.

I went on to excel academically, and in life generally, because of the trust and confidence my dad had in me. He put so much pressure on me to succed and I was happy with the pressure. I thought:

If he's asking me to do it, that means I can do it.

My dad practically taught me life lessons that I use to succed in my daily life.

And He fell sick

My dad fell sick with diabetes about ten years ago. It was a really bad time.
There was a time he lost his memory and didn't even recognise me.

That hurt me.

I had to watch my dad who had taught me to be so strong, become weak and fragile. He did get better for a while, then he was I'll again. This time he had to get an amputation on his left leg three years ago.
I was already in the university at the time. I was called to come home. I was informed when I arrived. I acted cool and calm. I said the amputation should be done immediately, to save his life. All these while, I wanted to just break down in tears. I was barely holding myself together. I thought to myself that I had to be strong for my mum and younger brother. I can't let them see me hurting, that would hurt them more. Everyone expected me to be calm (it was my personality) and i was, even when I didn't want to. I had a lot of sleepless nights that period.

And He died...exactly a year ago today

On January 29th, 2017 I was in school and received a call to start travelling back home. I immediately feared the worse but as always I do, I kept calm.
On getting home, i saw a loy of family friends and relatives around and I knew. I was informed he passed on the previous night. I calmly walked past them into my room and cried deeply for not more than two minutes. I came out, when to console my mum who was stricken with grief.
I have never seen so much pain expressed on anyone's face. Then and there I knew I had to be strong like my dad would want me to. So I was. Till this day, I express strength, when my heart is in so much pain.

Over the next weeks, plan were made for the burial and over the months we managed to get back to our normal lives. But our lives were never normal again.

My parents - Mr &Mrs Gbrika.

My lose was more than my family and friends know. It's more than what I can express in tears or words.

Time is supposed to heal all wounds, but this wound will take a lifetime to heal.

In one moment, I had lost my mentor, friend, nurse, father, source of confidence, etc. The only things I didn't lose are the memories and I'll cherish them forever.

Thank you for reading. This is long but it doesn't even begin to express the contents of my heart. I did shed a few tears writing this.

@supreme.yuma