Dear Diary: What Do I Feel Right Now

My body right now is in the stage or state that I believe is healing itself. It is one of the most things that I await and it is not really a good feeling because my body is still adjusting and conforming to itself and to the medicine that I am taking. So with those things that is going on with my body, it just takes a toll on my emotions, thoughts, and feelings so I am a kind of blue right now judging by the fact that I always wanted to sleep and keep to myself.

Maybe it is just the pain in my mouth but I am also having this sensation on my body that I cannot explain and I attribute it to the side-effect of the medicine that possibly only I can feel right now. The pain on my back is not completely gone but it bothers me a little now and there is such a warmth that I feel over the soles of my feet and on my back where the pain once lingers.

I think also that I am in an emotional transition on my healing stages but I would also hope that it will not affect my daily living or I will get shattered. I had been in like depression when I was just a delicate little kid and too good for me in those years that I was so young that my innocence on upon my emotions and what I felt that it didn't affect me much until time healed me.

It will also take time for my bones to heal if it would heal because the way I see it is that it may just stop or much more possibly slow down both of which I really welcome in my life because it has been so many years ever since I felt some relief and any rescue in any way, shape, and form medically is a good news in my life.

It is always like this when I am not feeling well. I always try to keep calm, always into myself, not even trying to talk except maybe here at steemit because I just needed to survive my financial burdens and I can do that by trying to work here and convey my thoughts and hopefully earn.

But I am always going for a positive attitude toward things, otherwise you wouldn't even had met me here. I guess I am that of a fighter that is so persistent that I can penetrate the deep reaches of time. And here I am, after years of battling through countless hours in dialysis and deformed body I am still here, not raising the white flag.