Oh my god this computer is so slow. I was happy though as well, to get my own laptop back. I'm now in Germany. I just don't seem to get over the fact that I'm posting these streams of consciousness now online. I keep thinking about the audience. Last two weeks, while I wasn't posting anything, multiple times the thought occured to me that I should. While before there were also defenitely times, sometimes even months, when I wouldn't write SoC (Stream of Consciousness), but now I feel I have to because I have to have a consistent output. Oooh God. So Daan, my sisters boyfriend, just came into the room to wish me a sweet dreams. I asked him to let me know when he would find back the pants that I gave my parents to bring to my sisters house when they went to see her. Laptop and microphone were also in that back, laptop and microphone are here. Why is the pants not? I was really, - No, I AM - really attached to that pants. It's my favorite, perfect pants. And also... It would have been my only other outfit since I forgot to take my other dress with me from America. So... yeah I need to go clothing shopping. One outfit is not enough to live by. For me at least, many homeless people are able to do so. Many others are able to live without any clothes. Don't get me wrong, I love being naked. But... I might unsettle my sister and her boyfriend. So yeah, I have the idea I now have to explain why I wasn't writing for the last 11 days (I didn't count, wordpress told me, oh god, how pathetic that I have a certain tendency and then start defending myself against it. I don't even wanna call that pathetic. Let's say... cute?) and I feel like I have to explain why I'm now in Germany, and why I have only 1 outfit, and where I'm staying, like updating. As if i'm blogging. But I'm not. I'm just writing stream of consciousness. And honestly (I don't seem to get that abbrivations SoC consistently down) - wauw, Jordan just e-mailed me he would love me to keep recording my singing and mailing that to him. Sweet. And also it totally made me forget what I wanted to say. Does reading back to remember break any SoC-rule? Silence. I like questions with no direct answer of my mind. It creates silence. A short one though. And also I really like questions that my mind does instantly know how to answer. Thank you Higher Self :) Give me allll the answers! Ah no, that's okay. I don't need to know now, my mind would probably explode or something, if all answers would come at once. What is enlightenment? What is the absolute truth? BOOM. Journey over. No, I'm patient, I enjoy the pace. I consider myself a quick learner, I guess that's in comparison with the average person now alive. I don't consider myself a quick learner if I compare myself with Bentinho Massaro for example. And - Ha, I felt the urge to explain who he is, but I resisted it, I just want to keep writing, hmmm not sure actually. Pffff. - And... yep, lost that train of thought again. How funny, how weird, how beautiful the mind is. TIme to sleep? 22:33. I'm surprised how well I'm taking that jet lag stuff. I slept yesterday night. Last night. From 10 till 9 I think, had to catch up some sleep as well from the long journey. And now I'll sleep decent times again. How wonderful. I'm looking forward to skyping with Jordan again tomorrow. Google Hangouts actually. Today has been a tense day with my sister. We moved though, we did some work and it worked. There is just more work. More talking to be done, more growing toward each other, more opening of our hearts. Allright fine, I actually wanted to write about abundance, but you know what it's like. If I have to write down the most apparent thing in my consciousness, it's not always what I intended to write about what comes up. Done fore now. I'm very tired.