DSC07504 (2).JPG

Now that I am building a new chapter in my life, I am starting from scratch again. I am in the stage where I am feeling like a seed seeking for a good soil to sprout, or I am feeling like a lost driver trying to find a good path to drive again.

I could relate my life now to Britney Spears' song "I'm not a girl, not yet a woman" She was also at her twenty-one when she was like trying to figure out her life.

"I am not a girl, not yet a woman"
by: Britney Spears

I used to think
I had the answers to everything
But now I know
That life doesn't always
Go my way, yeah
Feels like I'm caught in the middle
That's when I realize

I'm not a girl
Not yet a woman
All I need is time
A moment that is mine
While I'm in between
I'm not a girl

There is no need to protect me
It's time that I
Learn to face up to this on my own
I've seen so much more than you know now
So don't tell me to shut my eyes

There was a time that I had a sore throat in my dream and I tried to consult it to dream moods to interpret why I had such pain. I got the feedback right away and the result was kind of doubtful to believe but the last sentence of the result told me that I may have to swallow my pride. Yes maybe it's time for me to keep calm and just let everything flow as it should be. As what I have written here at steemit months ago said, that one thing I realized is to just keep calm and let God do everything.

I am not a boy, not yet a man. I couldn't say that I am still a boy because I can do choices on my own and I couldn't really say that I am already a man because I still don't have a work to support myself. It's just, I am caught in the middle of the road trying to build myself to be a strong and independent individual.

An individual that is newly released from its cage who is trying to explore the world by gaining experience the new environment of the phase.

I understand that I should keep calm for a while and do the waiting game because I have been there months before I was deployed in a company. Everyone has their own timeline, maybe it's not my month for now but the next two may be my calling. From my previous experience, I have waited three long months before I was deployed and it was already alarming because my classmates have already started their on-job-training for months. I have been there who started from scratch, nowhere to sleep, tight on budget, stress from waiting for a callback. I was there.

We may have our own plans, but also consider that our God up there has their own plans for us which are better than ours. I remember that God always answers our prayers but He doesn't always answer yes. He answers by "yes" by giving us what we want, "no" He gives us better and a "wait" He gives better in His time.

Now that I am twenty-one, I just have to keep my motivations and goals engined up so that I will always be prepared and be guided from the dreams that I am trying to reach. I should always keep in mind that I should be strong and keep everything flow.

Barbie taught me that I could be anything and if anyone could it why can't I? we are all created equal.

I may be struggling right now but here I am still breathing and understanding and still believing I could reach my dreams in the future. But for now I am idling, I would grab the chance to process all experiences and enjoy the world as I explore the journey that I could encounter.

I am not a boy, not yet a man.

and I, thank you!

~I vialed the universe, living life to the fullest!~