at I use google docs. Saving anything on my laptop with my habitual forgetfulness will end in tears

Having lost a number of things to crashed computers over the years, I get this. I had cloud backup for a little while (but not Google because I don't trust them) but that got expensive (happens when you roll your own which is why so many people use the borgish things) so I now have a couple of external drives (one attached to my computer that runs an automated backupof my home directory every day, and one that lives at my aunty's house and I swap them over every week or so when I visit).

It’s sad to say my writing portfolio is as slim as my art portfolio

If it makes you feel any better, I've probably done at least as much fanstuff as I have original stuff, and lately all my original stuff is soley focused around one large project (there's several stories in that project, but it's still just one universe). And I sucked at the heroes and villains thing. Doing protagonists and antagonists works out better for me, mostly because I need to find out about the entire person when I meet a character and even the right arseholes aren't pure evil.

I’m the kind of writer who is against killing off characters as a way to gain sympathy or shock value.

I hate this too! I have no problem killing off characters, but it should be because that's how the story goes, not because it's a "done thing" or aforementioned reasons. Am pretty much exactly the same with gratuitous sex scenes. I can only write a sex scene if something in it is going to develop (relationship between characters, or one of them is an assassin or they're doing it in an interesting way etc), have trouble both including and reading/watching them otherwise (I get bored XD).

Maybe he should ‘get the girl’ and they can end up having a ‘happy for now’ ending?

Worked for Dexter? XD Or you might be able to make a "reform the villain" kinda story work out. One way to find out? :D

And onto the actual story,did you say you edited some bits out to make it more PG? I'm kind of curious how the whole thing read now, as it read pretty well without them so if you wanted to trim it down a bit it would work. I didn't think it was too long a read, quite the opposite anyway, but I'm generally used to reading long things with a lot going on. That open window that high up sounds pretty hazardous at the best of times, never mind when you have someone contemplating murder in the house XD

You write really well :)