India(1)
Mark老师说印度(一)
(Author: Teacher Mark)
Within minutes of being in India you’ll realize that horns are the worst invention in human history. The horns are so incredibly loud it’s unreal. They’re not just loud, they’re shrill. The rickshaws and motorbikes time their honks in a certain way to send the shrillest possible soundwave piercing through your eardrum and into your soul.
身处印度几分钟时间，你就会想喇叭一定是人类史上最糟的发明。这里的喇叭不可思议的响亮，响亮到不是真的，难以置信。不仅仅是响，更是尖锐刺耳。人力车和摩托车的计时喇叭能把最尖利的声波刺入你的耳膜，进入你的灵魂。
If I had to pick one thing to define the Indian culture, it would be horns. As I said about China, every culture has something that cannot be altered. In India, it’s horns. A driver once told me, “As Indians, it’s our national right to honk.” Apparently it’s a right they like to exercise every few seconds! In the West we honk for a reason. Indians honk for the sake of honking. On the back of all the vehicles here it says, “Blow Horn”. Everybody loves the sound of horns…except me…and the government. The government has wasted so much money putting up no-honk signs; it’s ridiculous!
如果我必须选一件事来定义印度文化，它将是喇叭。正如我在上篇(关于中国的)所讲的，每种文化里都有一些根深蒂固的东西。在印度，那是喇叭。一个司机告诉我，“作为印度人，按喇叭是我们的国民权利。”很显然，这是一种每隔几秒他们就想要行使的权利。在西方，鸣喇叭都是有理由的。印度却为着鸣喇叭而鸣喇叭。所有车辆后面全写着：“吹喇叭”。人人都爱喇叭的声音，除了我，还有印度政府。政府已经在安插禁止喇叭指示牌方面花费了太多金钱，着实荒谬！
Why make a law if you’re not going to enforce it? I truly believe the only way to stop horns in India is to give the police a “kill on sight” order for anyone caught honking. Even then, thousands would have to die before society kicked the habit.
如果你不去执行一个法律，又何必去制定它呢？我真的相信制止喇叭的唯一可行方案，就是下达一条警察“就地正法”的命令，来处理鸣喇叭的人。即使那样，在废除这个社会陋俗之前，一定会有成千的人因鸣喇叭而死。
Traffic in India is insane. It’s the most chaotic thing you’ll ever experience in your life. When you’re stuck in the back of a rickshaw in the middle of a traffic jam, all you can breathe is the thick black exhaust billowing into your face from the bus beside you. Oxygen isn’t an option in India. You only have two choices - black exhaust or grey exhaust. Take your pick. It’s worse than any other country on the tourist track. China gets all the flack from western media, but trust me, India is a million times worse.
印度的交通也是疯狂的。它将是你在生活中经历的最混乱的事。当你处于交通拥堵中被卡在人力车后背，你所呼吸的全是周遭汽车排放的浓厚黑烟，滚滚扑面而来。在印度，氧气不是一种选择。你只有两种选择－黑烟或灰烟，随你挑吧。在旅游交通方面，印度是最糟糕的国家。尽管中国在这方面常被西方媒体所诟病，相信我，印度比之糟一千倍。
(未完待续！本博客原创作者系来自加拿大的Mark老师。Mark老师多才多艺，旅游了几十个国家，Youtube英语教学视频红人。）