You may have read my post called #Ulog 008 -Trials and Tribulations where I was talking about my son and his future choice of school. Well the saga continues.... I think it is fair to say that I am a very unpopular parent right now.
To cut a long story short (or you could read my post) 😉
My son wanted to move from his current school to a college. It is something that he started talking about a few weeks ago and I managed to get him an assessment and an interview. Since then I have been trying to find out his (real?) reasons for wanting to move.
I felt like I was not getting the whole story - there seemed to be something about the move that did not make sense to me. He talked about the fact that he could not get the options that he wanted at his current school and he was worried about how it would effect his future. He also thought the new college was a better school.
I asked him to write a pros and cons list for each place so that his dad and I could make a better informed decisions based on his opinion (because he told us we were not taking onboard what he wanted).
My gut feeling was that he should stay where he currently is. The teachers are invested in him as they know him well, in fact they have been trying to persuade him to stay. There is even a slightly ferocious teacher who was trying to persuade him not to go. I had a niggling feeling that the new college might not challenge him sufficiently and he would drift. He is a very able student but I feel he needs direction to stay on track and be pushed otherwise he might not fulfill his potential - especially in mathematics.
His list did nothing to clarify his reasons in mind. They did not seem like valid arguments to me, only a replication of some of our observations. They certainly were not compelling enough for such a big decision to move schools, especially at such short notice.
I decided to take a look at the Ofsted results for both schools so that I could get some sort of facts behind my feelings. Sure enough I could see in black and white what I suspected.
His current school is above average and the one he wanted to move to was rated below average.
Current school rated: Good ,
'New' college rated: Requires Improvement
To be honest that information was enough for me (and his dad) to make a decision on his behalf.
This morning I told him our decision and our reasons behind it. It is fair to say that I am pretty unpopular and he wouldn't speak to his dad on the phone this morning.
No one said that being a parent was an easy job and sometimes you have to make decisions which are unpopular. We can, as adults, see the bigger picture and we have to do what we think is best - and hopefully he will understand that too when he has calmed down and can reflect on it.
Until next time,
J x
As it happens I'm somewhat in the same boat as you. My daughter (year 9) wants to change her options, I think for the wrong reasons. Tonight I will need to tell her she cant do it, as the teachers have said more or less no. I, and the decision are not going to go down well.
It is really, really tough though. My son is not speaking to me and is really upset. Sometimes we, as adults, know best or have to make informed judgement. At 14 they really do not understand the big picture - so it is our job to guide them. I wish you all the best telling her - but I think that eventually they will be able to look back and understand (and accept) our reasoning 🤞
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Oh Jen- I really feel for you - it must be so tough, as all you want is the best for him and yet you get the silent treatment for it. Hopefully he'll get used to the idea, and get on board with it soon. E x
He seemed to have thawed a bit when I picked him up from school. He is generally a cheerful lad and I think he will get over it quickly enough.
That's good news- I hope he continues to thaw and he gets over it really quickly - for all your sakes'!!
E x