Hi, @achim03. Thanks for stopping by. It is hard indeed. All these years we have been demanding from our kids the kind of endurance and maturity that was not demanded from us as we were growing up. We did not face the limitations and hardships our kids are facing and we want them to be strong and diligent.
We are in a way waiving our duties because circumstances restricted our capacity to be responsible parents, providers.
That is both painful and embarrassing, and yet, we had no choice.
The biggest obstacle will be faced this afternoon. Passing immigration in Miquetía will be a great victory.
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Henrry
I feel so endeared to you. Steemit connects people uniquely, and not because of the exchange of a dribble of currency as so many think, but because it connects culture and people who's lives would not cross on other platforms where the "friend" suggestions are generated within the current circle and contain an insular exposure.
I have learnt a lot from you. Not least of all I have learnt to get up and try, to be gtrateful to be even able to give my children food and shelter. I have a fledgling orange tree in my garden. It was nearly run over 1000 times by the neighbours truck recently, but it still stands. We are heading into summer, I hope it flowers. Every time I look at it I think of you and the children in the market. How their gesture gave you back hope.
You looked tired and beaten by you dwindling hope, then the next post had you 10 years younger and giving out books to children with smiling faces.
I don't like to read this
We are in a way waiving our duties because circumstances restricted our capacity to be responsible parents, providers.
That is both painful and embarrassing, and yet, we had no choice.
The journey you describe here, and every ulog you have articulately, heart wrenchingly and bravely shared has been spoken from the soul of a parent doing absolutely everything for their children.
Not being able to easily and safely provide a passage of privilege to our children at every turn, does not render us failures as parents, but rather triumphant.
I have experienced a kidney stone, with access to pain relief and hospital services, not traversing dangerous boarder checks and uncertainty. I distinctly recall the 20 minute car ride to the hospital, where I knew I would receive relief and safety. It was a harrowing 9km trip in dense traffic, that I can also reflect on with gratitude now thanks to you.
Although our circumstances are worlds apart I am no stranger to parental guilt. My children miss out on things there friends take for granted due to the limits of my health. I once described the guilt I felt to a friend. I told her I felt terrible for not seeing my children for 4 weeks while I was in hospital. She told me she had recently been on a holiday to Europe and left her kids with there grandparents, and had no guilt, and that I had not chosen my situation. I am so grateful for her words, they helped me immensely.
The embarrassing componant is a challenge too. I am in the process of accessing community help and it is hard to let go accept. But I promise I will focus on being grateful for having community infrastructure as I relinquish my ego, if you too can forgive yourself for things not of your creating. Take a moment to be proud of all you do for your family, community and country. Your ulog speaks for so many.
You are not a failing generation of parents. You are heroic. In the midst of the turmoil I'm sure it doesn't feel that way and I fear my words may read as condensing, I'm sorry if they do, they are well intended.
This post is testament to a single triumph despite the hurdles, and parents willing to do anything they can for their child.
Thank you so much, @girlbeforemirror for your touching words. They did not sound condescending to me. I appreciate your honesty and your sensibility.
I do have a lot to forgive myself for.
When I finished my studies in the US and had to come back in 2008, even though the country was not as fucked up as it is now, I remember that young lady who is now in Chile, then 6, crying as asking me why people were the way they were; why we did not take them and put them on a plane and let them see other ways of living and behaving so that the country could be pretty, she also asked me crying why I had punished her like that. She wondered then, just like she wondered when her mother and I divorced, whether she had done something wrong to cause the uprooting.
It's been hard, to say the least, to carry all that load.
So, I thank you kindly for bringing the principle behind that blaming game to my attention.
I keep working on it.