About 3 months ago, my wife and I added a new member to our household. We had an extra room that our wonderful little boy Timmy no longer needed so we allowed someone new to move into it. Although he is a lot like our son Timmy, he is a bit more introverted and moody. He is also taller, harrier, and eats more than our cute little guy.
Hmmm. Our new family member is a lot like this.
His name is Teenage Timmy.
So I guess when I wrote that we "added" a new member to our family, I should have really written we "replaced" a member. This insurgence actually occurred a few weeks before Timmy turned 13. But when it did, it was like flipping a switch. It seemed my adorable first born child had turned into a teenager overnight.
It all began with the simple action of closing a door. Up until the transformation, my son only closed his door when he was changing his clothes. Now it is only open long enough for him to squeeze through on his way in and out of the bathroom ... or more likely the kitchen.
It may sound like I am complaining, but I am not. I really like my new teenage son. Like all stages of parenthood, there are new challenges, but these are offset by new forms of fun. Although he and I have always shared a love of Star Wars and super heroes, in the blink of an eye, he became a Simpsons fan as well. He had set his own limit that the show was too "adult" for him. But that changed around the same time his door began to spend less time ajar. I took this as a sign that I could joke around with him a little more and differently.
There was still a family out there who wouldn't let a 12 year old watch this show.
Have you seen the internet?
I began by busting on him for having his door closed all the time. Each time I pass by his closed door I yell, "Hi Timmy's door" and then "bye Timmy's door" on the way back. I have even begun saying goodnight to Timmy's door. It and I are becoming fast friends.
But my absolute favorite part of living with my freshly minted teenager is that in addition to Simpsons, he has shown an interest in another show that is way too "adult" for cute, little Timmy.
Over the past couple of months, I have become obsessed with Rick and Morty. I seriously have no idea why it took so long for me to start watching it. I am just happy I finally did.
If you have not seen the show, let me tell you that there is no way a 13 year old should be allowed to watch it. That is why I refuse to watch it with him. I truly believe there is value in showing him that there are some things you simply don't do in the presence of certain people... like your mom or dad. He needs to learn to adjust his behavior based on his audience.
For example, I am sure he and his buddies swear. However, if he ever swore in front of my wife or I, he would feel our wrath.
Just like I am sure he doesn't always use appropriate language when we aren't with him, I also know he watches inappropriate shows. I am doing my best to teach him where that limit is. If I am unreasonably strict, I am begging for rebellion. If I am too lax, then I fear he will dive right in to some incredibly terrible content.
I don't know about this Rick. We are pretty inappropriate.
Knowing that he knows, that I know, that he knows about Rick and Morty has allowed me to start another joke with him.
For some reason, a few weeks ago, I started telling him to "Get schwifty*" at odd times. It became a game to see if I could catch him by surprise. I even started texting it to him in his room (when I wasn't talking to his door). For example, I may try to bury it in a list of directions such as, 'Hey Timmy, make sure you takeout the garbage. When you are done... get schwifty!"
Although he pretends to be incredibly annoyed by this, I know he actually thinks its fun. In order to show how annoyed he is, he changed my name on his phone to "Jerry Smith" who is Morty's dad on the show. Every time I call or text, "Jerry Smith" pops up. My son said he did this because Jerry is the most annoying, boring and useless character on TV. (I love you too son.)
Last week, my son requested an adjustment to our game. He asked if we could limit "get schwifty" to once per day. This would add a little more excitement to the game. I would have to pick my spot carefully and he would have to be on high alert in order to avoid being surprised.
Warning. This show is definitely inappropriate for younger viewers.
I know I write about a lot of cute, family friendly stuff... this is NOT that.
Is it childish?
Yep.
Does it border on inappropriate?
For sure.
Am I going to stop?
No way.
I have been around enough teenagers to know that this is not going to be the first or last replacement Timmy. He is going to continue to change over the coming years. As he does, I am going to have to find creative ways to remain part of his life. I don't mean as a father. I will always play that role. I will always be here to guide him back to the right path when he strays (and all teenagers stray). There are going to be plenty of times when I will need to be the heavy for his own good. But that doesn't mean it has to be all discipline and educating. I'm hoping we can have some fun along the way.
*And now a word about "Get schwifty". "Get schwifty" is a song the mad scientist Rick created in order to please an alien species of floating heads who staged an American Idol type talent show in order to decide which planets would survive and which would be destroyed. (Yes that is actually the plot of an episode.)
The song is quite immature and inappropriate... so it is right up my alley.
Is anyone else going through a similar situation?
Has anyone survived and made it out the other end?
If so...
Constant closed door is fine (cough porn cough), just don't get him a sex robot from Gazorpazorp.
Yeah he would get way too attached to the offspring.
I don't know how I will handle it when that time comes and I have a teenager. Remove bedroom door maybe? I've never watched Rick & Morty, but I'm glad you found a way to connect. It's got to be better than daily groundings and buttkickings.
I'm sure the daily groundings are right around the corner lol.
Depends on the kid. my parents never found much use in grounding me regardless of what I did, which honestly wasn't much when I was a kid.
I don't know exactly how to become a parent of a teenager but I think I know how to deal with them.. As a former youth leader in our church sometimes we need to really umderstand what they what and their characters and be flexible with it. One that you can help your child to become a better man is to become a his idol, do things that can made him proud of you as his father. Actually you are a great father, every teenager wants a cool dad like you.
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Good point. They need as many good role models as possible.
I lived through teenage sons times four and have managed to live to talk about it! LOL Roll with it. Learn to pick and chose your battles wisely. Somethings are worth fighting for, others no. There were times that I thought are they ever going to grow up? Now I have grown men who I am very proud of...
Congratulations on making it through!
I am really going to try to choose my battles wisely.
So, when your son comes home with blue or green hair, you won't flip out?
You’re a parent and you know what’s best for your child . It’s all stages that parents have to go through and the teenage years are the worst . It comes with mood swings , “leave me alone” and what not . But this is the stage where the parents need to be best friends with their child . This is the stage where children fall out on the wrong path
My son is only 9 months so I’ll be on that path sooner that you know it
You are right. It flies by. Enjoy every moment!
Oh my! I can imagine how difficult this is. My mum says raising a teenager is the most difficult aspect of parenthood. I wish you luck!
Please share your process so that i can learn for future purposes☺
I will make sure to share all of my mistakes so people can learn from them. LOL
Oh jeez... at least I still have 4 years to prepare! 😯
Savor those 4 years!
I definitely will. 😉
Welcome to my world, my friend. My son turned 16 this year and is about to finish grade 11. It has been roller coaster ride ever since he turned 13 for sure. I have been down the door closed road and ventured on the inappropriate content highway with him. It isn't always easy to keep those connections close but I certainly try. As he gets older, his friends become more important than family (At least it feels like that some days) I am very lucky that my kid is a talker and we have been able to keep communication lines open. You know that our kids are just a little bit different when they are out and about with their besties. We have to trust that we have given them the tools to make good choices and that they will continue to chat with us. Just last night, he went to his first "beach bash" (an end of year high school party). It is a party where there will be lots of opportunities to make bad choices. He was home on time and had some pretty amazing stories to share and that to me was a huge win, he was willing to sit and talk all about it. It has been a fun ride and your adventure is just beginning. Hold on to the railing at all times sir!!!
That is fantastic that the beach bash was not a disaster! I agree 100%. All we can do is give them a strong base and hope they remember the lessons we taught them when they are facing potential bad choices.
Not going through a similar situation but this write up brought back memories as a teen . At that stage of my life I I felt like I was on top of the world , my mom could just comprehend. I guess we all passed through this stage in our life's ..
It's nice for u to share you story ...
Lol, he is effing lucky to have a parent like you.
You are the Schwiftiest!
Thanks!
Oh I will have to tell him you said that. LOL
Haha. It was bound to happen.
Kids nowadays are turning to robots when with family.
They enjoy the company of their friends though.
Keep a close eye on him.
I will do my best!
Quite difficult to make him a right way as he going with stubborn attitude!
thanks.upvote
Haha we have all been through the Teenage Timmy phase before. It makes me reminisce about that time in my life when I also started to distance myself from my parents a bit.
I love how you are looking for new ways to interact with him though. Also being conscious of the fact that there is a middle ground between overbearing parent and aloof caretaker is key!
I will try to remember this post years down the road when my daughter goes through the very same phase. Hopefully I will be able to manage it as well as you seem to be. Thanks for sharing!
Timmy is lucky to have a parent like you. I went through a similar phase where I started closing my door all the time because just like you, my mom taught me there are things that it's just not appropriate to say/do/watch in her presence so I shut her presence out in order to do the fun things I wanted that she deemed inappropriate.
Sadly instead of rolling with it and trusting me to make my own good choices my mom just outright removed my door for a year and did not allow me anything to cover it so outside of being in the bathroom I never had any privacy from her if I was home.
I'm not a parent, but I grew up with arguably a very bad one. You seem to be doing a very good job of being the parent in charge while still allowing Timmy the freedom to make his own choices and be who he is and that's truly wonderful.
The above got me rolling on the ground in laughter. Haha
Awe, thanks for that heads up....my son's girlfriend had a five year old going on fifteen when they came to live with us. (They don't live with me anymore but back then he was still single at home)....during her pregnancy I had to pick him up at school and I'd always bury my head in the hood of my coat so no one would recognize me as picking up the kindergarten terrorist. Yup him and I have gone around over the last few years over what he watches on tv, it's not been a easy task to take a teenager and turn him back into a kid but some of those shows sure weren't helping. He thinks he is slick sometimes, he turns the channel when he see's or hears you coming....like the other night after going back in from being outside I noticed he got up to try and retrieve the remote before I seen what he was watching. It didn't look appropriate let alone approved so I asked, he said oh it's just Rick and Morty, I responded I wasn't familiar with that show that it would be best to turn it until I look at it. I guess you saved me a few minutes of wasted time.
I have a 4 months old baby girl and I know I'll definitely get down that path too. I'm I weightlifting for it? Nope. You cant force them to listen but you can only advice and pray for them and also lead by example. It ain't easy but it will pass. You're a great dad.
That stage is usually hard for both parents and the teenager, just try to get it easy and have a lot of patience and everything it's gonna be ok. I Tell you this because not too long ago I was also a teenager and his behavior is from a normal boy of his age haha
Don't feel too bad @hanshotfirst . I have an 8 yr.old daughter and 9 yr. old one. And the 9yr. old pretty much hates everything I do . And openly makes it known that EVERYTHING I say is stupid. ;)
I love her so much but sometimes I have to be honest as it is a little frustrating.
I just wonder what it will be like in 4 years when she is 13 lol
But I do applaud you for staying in your son's Life one way or the other. Good for you to be so creative and it's a sure tale sign that you're a great Father to go the distance like that :)
Thank you for sharing your post. I really enjoy reading it. It's a cool article for me. Actually I am a fan of Rick. He's an unbelievable man. The most favorite episode for me is Pickled Rick. I laughed so hard on it. And I can't waiting for the season4 at all. I would love to see it soon as soon as possible.
It's going to require some patience. I'm sure you'll continue to be a great father.
What a great experience friend, really adopt a new person to the family is rewarding and see how you treat it is admirable, keep it up. Teach him new things that he may not know, greetings.
@calitoo
I'd stop worrying about the door closing issue. The alternative is your water bill going through the roof from his twenty minute showers.
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ah, the joys of parenthood... sigh... I'd thought we had finished with "raising our children" one is 40, the other 38.... but we find ourselves in that awkward and dangerous ground again. Our grand daughter has moved in with us, and I have to tell you, I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown...
No experience with teenage boys. The ones I see are usually busy playing video games and being couch potatoes..... I admire your tenacity, but agree with ceci, you have to pick your battles, cause if you have more than one kid you need the energy. 🐓🐓
This reminds me a bit of the adolescence of my younger brother, he was quickly becoming a boy who didn't share with the family and even something liberal. My parents were not happy, but they managed the situation.
Is it just me or do you guys hear a voice when you see the last gif? Lmao. "I like what you got. Good job!"
Creative post.....love it!
Man! Rick and Morty is a great show. I watched them in the first 2 seasons, then the producers took so long to publish more, I moved on. I'll have to check for the new material.
It looks like you have this fathering thing down. What a lucky teenager.
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This story actually made my day, it is humorous and educative.
Thanks for doing #ulog.
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Same picture here in Venezuela with my 14-years-old son. Nothing's clear yet on how to proceed. By the moment, I took out his computer aiming to try to get a point of negotiation.