This was so moving. I am jealous of the fact that you are at a place where you can confidently verbalize letting yourself off the proverbial hook. I've found myself here because I'm in a place where I know I have been hiding behind coping mechanisms (drinking, smoking weed, anxiety meds) so that I could avoid dealing with the real things that cause my soul to be restless. I am trying to slowly but surely isolate those things that make me want to hide behind those comforts. I wish you all courage as you continue to seek peace and wholeness within yourself.