A Digital Nomad’s Guide to Adulting Part 1 — License, Mail & Your Nexus

Let’s face it, adulting is a necessary evil of being over the age of 18. I know it’s rough, but sometimes we have to pony up and do what’s required to be a participant in society.

I get it. I give myself a D- in adulting. And I’m totally fine with that. I got a D- in trigonometry in high school, and I was fine with that too. It was just enough. And I never use trig. Not once. Never.

This approach is not for everyone. Some blessed souls among us are excellent at adulting and I completely applaud you! And I silently curse you every year on April 14th at 11:30 pm.

If you’re a full time nomad, you have the added challenge of adulting without a permanent address or home-base.

I recently had a long coffee with a fellow traveler who was about to re-enter her quasi-nomadic ways without a permanent home and we were reviewing all the ways I approach adulting as a nomad to see if they could help her navigate the ins and outs.

[Sidenote: this is for nomads who have and are maintaining US citizenship ( or a country whose process is very similar]

First off...the driver’s license.

Now, this is tricky. The driver’s license is a must. Even if you have no intention of driving overseas, you still need this little token of adult identity.

A handful of states-- three as of this writing-- are “full-timer friendly” and by full-timer, I’m referring to folks who are living in RVs and sailboats full-time.**

When in doubt, begin your searches for information on full-time RV websites. The actual websites are usually atrocious (HTML circa 2007), but the information is perfect for us nomadic folks.

South Dakota makes the process of having a legit license the easiest. In SD, it’s completely legal to stay for one night in a hotel, take your receipt along with your SD virtual mailbox address and get a legal drivers license.

The DMV will also recognize that you’re a full-timer and allow you to waive your jury duty obligations with a piece of paper.

Next Tricky Hoop -- Mail

Now, mail is obviously optional. Tim Ferriss put geo-arbitrage on the map with his 4 Hour Work Week book (a classic-- go read it now!!) and he list multiple options nuances for virtual mail that are still applicable today, even though the book was published a decade ago.

Now, due to the ridiculously creepy legislation called the Patriot Act, you have to prove you’re a resident with an address to sign the proper postal forms to grant someone else the power to receive your mail.

If you choose the right virtual mail service, they’ll ask you the following question when setting up your mailbox, “What was the last place you received mail?” and they’ll put that on your paperwork. That’s the perfect legalish loophole...totally truthful answer here (and it doesn’t have to be your physical address).

If not, you’ll have to state where you last lived that’s a physical address and not a P.O. box.

Now, here’s a little rant. I’m a person who thrives on privacy. I have nothing to hide and, even though my adulting is at a D-, I am a law abiding citizen. BUT I don’t want the government all up in my shit. As our current state of government proves, being “on the radar” can have devastating impacts if a dictatorial maniac takes control of your government and begins rounding up dissenters and free thinkers. Or unleashes his mindless trolls and moronic supporters to do his dirty work.

I try to keep everything off the radar-- though in the past few years I’ve gotten away from that while running my own business. Not that I’m shutting it down, I’m returning to my off-grid, privacy predominate mindset.

Two of my favorite books for getting a grasp around the why and how of personal privacy is, “How to Disappear” by Frank Ahearn and How to Be Invisible by J.J. Luna. The authors were both private investigators who wrote the books mostly from the premise of helping people, like women in abusive relationships, flee violence and remain protected-- and alive. The books are an eye opener. I also reference some pretty beefy privacy textbooks that are a little over the top for this conversation.

Back to the mail thing...when choosing a virtual mail provider, be sure they have a method for getting you the actual important mail. Most services will scan and email you the mail, some will simply scan the envelope and you can decide whether or not they should scan the contents, mail it to you or shred it.

Now, this does negate the “privacy” aspect, since a third party will be opening and scanning your mail, so be sure the service you use is trustworthy or that you’re not receiving sensitive mail.

I have a virtual mail service for my business which scans all my mail for me. I know there’s nothing sensitive, like financial statements, going to that address (I get them digitally through my bank) and the only mail they get are my phone bill and official letters from the state for tax purposes.

My personal mail goes to another virtual service and they simply save up the mail and send it to wherever I ask them to once every few months. Nothing important is sent to my personal address.

Now, there’s a catch here. If you order goods online (Amazon, Etsy, ecommerce-- you know the drill), you’ll need an address to receive them. If you’re nomadic in the States and know your itinerary, you can plan your shipments to arrive at a friend’s house, general delivery at a nearby post office or the campground you may be staying at. Be sure the location does get Amazon deliveries (USPS versus UPS/FedEx) as not every town gets delivery in a consistent manner.

Another option is to have a private mailbox (I know, this is getting pricey fast) for deliveries and mail you DO need to receive in a town where you will be squatting for more than a few weeks or a location where a friend you trust or family can make your pickups. This is a private company that provides safe and secure options for physically picking up your mail. If you ship packages to a friend or family member’s house, be sure to ship to their name— not yours! We’ll address this shortly.

And, the final option, would be to simply have your mail sent to a family or friend’s house and have them save it until you pass through town. I don’t like this option because it becomes a burden on your family if you’re gone for a long period of time and it keeps you on a nexus in the state where they are located. Which will negate the ability to have the driver’s license in a full-timer state.

So, that’s alot to unpack. And can require some brainstorming and visualization of where you’ll be in the future. Budget is also a concern. Business virtual mailboxes are more pricey than personal ones. So if you’re not running a business while on the road, you’ll save some cash.

Voting

Again, this is one of those adulting things that’s a necessary task in today’s world. One of the reasons I opted for a full-time friendly state is that my former drivers license from a state filled with RV folks (but not full-time friendly) said I couldn’t vote because I didn’t live at the stated “address” on my license. Problem. So, in searching for a new “home state” I found one that remains full-time AND voting friendly.

If you're among the civic minded and value your voting abilities, be sure to stay on top of your chosen state's voting registration laws. In 2016, South Dakota tried to change the voting rights of those falling into the full-timer status because one of the counties which has a large number of full-timers (due to the location of one of the virtual mail services) because the county wanted to change taxes that would directly impact this demographic. The state lost that battle, but I doubt it's over.

If you stay on the grid of a non full-timer state, you’ll need to be sure your voter registration and address stay active. Which will be hard if you’re not on their state grid.

Which leads us to the next topic...your nexus.

What is your nexus?

Basically, think of this as your footprint what’s your footprint in a state-- or even a country? Where are you receiving your mail and where are you sending mail from? Can you send all of your transactions (invoicing, bank statements, bill paying) into the cloud and remove the need for mail to be received and sent, thus placing you on a physical radar?** Can you maintain a completely digital and thus location free existence given your current lifestyle and income generating status?**

Or do you need to return to the state of your “adulting” and make yourself be known in that location throughout the year? Many people do this who live in the islands or reside in a country with legit health care, like Canada.

They’ll spend 6 months here in the States and then head back to Canada for the other 6 months so they maintain their health care status. This is also a scenario for taxes. If you live on an island, (US territories here) and don’t want to deal with the shitshow of their tax process, you’ll need to strategically return to your home state for a period of time each year and show your footprint to Big Brother.

Your nexus is something that really doesn’t surface until you’re dealing with entities like the IRS or some other federal agency that needs real proof of residency. For most of us, this really doesn’t need to be a major concern. If we’re traveling through this world, doing our thing and paying our taxes on time-- our nexus isn’t a big deal.

But, if you’re trying to adult, maybe buying an island car for your part-time island life or getting a fledgling nomadic business off the ground (or show a nexus in a state that aggressively tracks down potential taxpayers-- I’m looking at you Virginia)-- it matters.

Little story. I once mailed my taxes while staying with family in a very “tax aggressive state” (this was before the days of Turbo Tax and electronic filing). This state was not my home state and I showed no other footprint here (besides having grown up there, I’d been off their nexus for 5 years) besides my post marked tax returns. That fucking state claimed I was a resident, went into my bank account and took what it thought was their money. I’d never worked a moment in that state in 5 years. The paperwork to prove this was so overwhelming that I just ate the loss (and I even went to that state’s IRS department to protest and try to reverse it).

And ever since then, almost 20 years ago, I’ve been hyper aware of my state footprint. Doesn’t mean I’ve always been a saint about it (again D- in adulting here), but I have been mindful of what footprints I’m leaving behind in what states.

To Summarize

As you can see, this “adulting” shit takes some planning, future-visioning and some loopholes to leap through. Hopefully the links I’ve provided and the insight into the process helps just a little.

I know it’s not easy to be a full time nomad, but it’s definitely worth it. **I’ve spent the past decade as a nomad and quasi-nomad, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. **The nomadic life isn’t for everyone and it does have its waves of loneliness, self-doubt and identity conflicts-- but the highs greatly outweigh its lows.

Coming up next: traveling with technology. We’ll explore mindful technology use on the road, segmentation of workflows and what devices are best for the nomad.

Resources

This article has tons of resources and information about logistics for life on the road
Florida Based Mail Service— I’ve never used this, but it looks pretty solid
Solid article on all three “fulltime friendly” states from this couple’s fulltimer perspective and why they chose the “home states” for their footprints. and this is another solid one on the same topic

GeoArbitrage by the Master, Tim Ferriss
This article is a classic from his blog, circa 2009. Since I’m a huge Jason Bourne fan, this one’s an all-time fav!

Virtual Mail
Any Time Mailbox
South Dakota Mail
Good Sam Club Mail Service
UPS Personal Mail This option won't have scanning, but it will be able to forward your mail regularly to your temporary location. Research this option first and be sure it fits your budget and your travel style (mostly US based).

*Photos taken by myself while wandering on the West Coast. The images were created while staying at the Whiteaker International Hostel in Eugene, Oregeon. I've stayed here on multiple trips and it's by far my favorite hostel, in the world. A quick taxi ride from the Amtrak station (a definite layover on the Coast Starlight train route) and walking distance to a whole plethora of amazing food, coffeeshops an eclectic community gathering spots. *

How do you tackle these adulting issues in your nomadic lifestyle? Let's start the conversation and create some resources-- especially for the non- US nomads! Tell me how you adult as a nomad in the comment section below.