(Meta) The blank pages

Argh, I'm having a bit of a crisis. For some reason, long ago, I read or heard from someone that the word 'deleterious' meant 'to do something slower, but with more care' and now, all the definitions that I've been looking up, say that it means 'harmful' so, here I've been scrambling to find a word that fits the meaning that I've always labeled the idea. Turns out, I can't find any. Which is odd, it's like I'm having my own private Sinbad Genie Kazaam moment.

Basically, I don't really know what I'm doing with this blog either. It seems that I am only really excited to write when I am travelling, but I go into such detail, or I just write so steadily, (emphasis on the "slowly"). That I always seem to fall behind when I do want to go into any detail, both the boring and the interesting. Because you need both to define each other, and I am terrible at filtering if I just wanted things to be merely interesting.

In the time I've spent not writing, I've been to France and back. I found a peaceful, if frustrating life in southern France at a spiritual community surrounding a chateau, rebuilt from an old castle. The space itself was amazing. And if it were not for the imaginary boundaries that old men created long ago, and not so long ago, I could see myself staying there for the rest of my life. The attraction of a detachment philosophy is hard for me to resist.

I wonder if my blogs will ultimately frustrating to future historians, there are so many blank spaces, where I eventually pick up months or years later, with needling details that, when I, myself re-read them, find rather uninteresting because I am not the self that I was. Of course, the other side of me is super interested in them, because these details, for me, transport me back to that particular instant, which is cool, it's like my words are a personal time-travel device.

I'm left to wonder if my words will do the same for others. I want to capture these moments in the way that I remember them as accurately as possible. In a world where our realities are diverging quite steadily, keeping accurate detail of our personal experiences with be of the utmost importance if we are to survive the future. I hope we will weather the individual bubbles technology is insulating us with, and break through to reach a consensus of a reality where suffering exists only without coercion.

Okay, so, yeah to catch you up as tersely as I can put it, Brussels, to france, a community told me no, wandered around the forest and some towns south of Paris for a couple weeks, picked up by a Hare Krishna dude, stayed at their temple, flew back to mordor, heading toward Rhûn. Wish me luck!