TRAVELMAN COLOMBO SRI LANKA: Living Large and Going Broke!

If I spent like this everyday, I’d be home in two weeks and looking for a job. Yesterday I flew from India to Colombo, Sri Lanka... And ended up getting lost, again. Except, this time, it wasn’t fun, it was just hot and miserable.

***View from the room I ended up getting****

Being an old hand at arriving in new cities and countries now, and having had the beyond beginner level experience of backpacking through India, I was feeling pretty savvy, but pretty drained. I was immediately tested in both respects.

Sri Lanka’s airport wifi wasn’t working, something about IT working on changing the password and not having passed it along to the information desk yet, they’d let me know as soon as they get it. The money exchanges in the airport wouldn’t accept Indian Rupees (I have no idea why), however, they said that the post office outside will (...I don’t know either). And on top of that, I couldn’t remember how far my hostel was from the airport.

No problem, I’ve been through this before. I’m Travelman for goodness sakes! So, I put on my cape and went to work. I went outside, fought through the tuk tuk drivers as I found the post office, and I successfully exchanged my INR for some LKR. Okay, have local currency in hand, check!

Side note: There was a guy at the Post Office window who I thought was standing in line behind me as I waited for the two people in front of me to make transactions. This guy behind me kept coughing. It was a horribly disgusting cough and I was wishing he wasn’t there. After I got my LKR, he asked, “Hello sir, where are you going? You need taxi?” Scary wet cough guy was merely standing behind me and waiting to solicit me. ...Groan.

I went back inside and that’s when I found out about the lack of airport wifi availablility. No problem, I needed a SIM card anyway and had learned the hard way through experience that it’s best to get it right away (just wish I would have looked up the best deals for SIM cards in Sri Lanka before hand because there were four companies to choose from, but no big whoop). I went with airtel for five american dollars. It activated immediately, I now had internet access! Check!

The internet access allowed me to find out that I was nearly two hours away from my hostel. It was south of the city and I was north of it. In my haste, and lack of motivation to invest decision making power into my travel plans, I had conveniently misremembered the distance as being much closer.

But have no fear, Travelman is here! Dat Da Da DAAAHH!

I asked the info desk about a bus, the lady wasn’t sure. I think she was waiting on the password to her brain. I moved on and asked a security guard, he said, “Take the 176.” I asked where it was, I saw a bus nearby and pointed at it asking if that was it. “Yes it is.” He said.

I went to the bus. they looked at my maps on my phone where I had the hostel marked. They said that the last stop is near there and I can take a Tuk Tuk the rest of the way. Awesome, I got on the air conditioned bus, paid the equivalent of a dollar for the ride and relaxed. Then we sat in traffic for about an hour. I was on the bus two hours and we only went a few kilometers. I got off at the last stop. My maps said that I was still an hour away from the hostel. WTF.

Then my phone died. My phone battery has sucked since I bought the phone “new” in Thailand. So, beyond the fact that I was at a bus stop in the middle of Colombo in Sri Lanka. I didn’t know where I was and an hour seemed like too far for a tuk tuk and I really wasn’t in the mood to be lost in a new city in an exotic locale.

I started walking. Every time I’ve simply started walking in the past, things have worked out.

I walked. I sweated. I sweated some more. I found no restaurants or hotels where I could plug in my phone. Finally I saw a high rise with HILTON emblazoned across the top of it. They’ll have outlets and wifi! I headed in the direction of the building.

The HILTON sign should’ve had fine print under it that read “Warning Building behind sign may be further than they appear.” It took another twenty minutes to reach the entrance. By the time I walked up to reception, drenched in sweat, I’d told myself that I was just going to splurge and get a room there, even if the price was ridiculously high and fantastically out of my price range.

I set a very high limit in my head that I was willing to pay. I wanted to finally stay someplace that was actually nice, like really nice, like with consistent hot water, privacy, toiletries, quiet restaurant and bar, and awesome wifi. I was just so tired, not only of walking that day, but of traveling. I think I wanted to remind myself that I have money in the bank, I’m not poor and I can afford to splurge.

Boy was I reminded... that although I wasn’t poor, I wasn’t mister money bags from Monopoly either.

When I inquired into the price of a room at reception I learned that it was under my crazy high limit, but not by much. ...Fuck it! I told myself I was going to do it, by golly! (Who uses both the phrases “fuck it” and “by golly” within a few words from one another? I’m like a foul mouthed Principle Belding from Saved by the Bell.) I felt like I was in Vegas and going deeper into a gambling hole; I was metaphorically taking the “I’ve shut my logical mind off” walk to the ATM for my gambling money. I looked at the well-uniformed woman behind the Hilton reservation computer, handed my credit card over, and said only in my head, “yeah, I may look like a steamed rat wearing a backpack, but I can afford this!” ...Gulp. “...Ohh, I hadn’t thought about tax. ...that much, huh? I c-c-can af-afford it.” Throat clearing, “Ahem. ...Is the bar open?”

***Yes, that’s a glass wall between the shower and bath and the rest of the room. This is not a room you want to share with a family member****

My room is ridiculously nice and reminds me of a nice Vegas hotel room. The view and the bathroom are amazing. The bathroom has a tub in which you can actually have a bath! (I’ve had three baths in less than 24 hours.) I ate dinner at their amazing buffet, got up this morning and had an amazing breakfast buffet, then decided to double down and paid for a second night here! (Yeah, I’m going a little bit insane.) I’ve spent three weeks worth of living expenses in less than twenty-four hours. And it feels awesome! At least I won’t have to endure the regret filled drive home from Vegas.