The only way to find happiness is to go through the darkness and face the dark night of the soul. Most people won't do the work needed of deep introspection, inner child work, and being brutally honest with themselves. Until we stop lying to ourselves and masking our troubles with like you say fake friends, relationships, alcohol etc we will never heal. Thank you for bearing your soul, I wish you all the luck in the World facing your demons, Im sure you will slay them like a boss ;)