Going Abroad for the Right Reasons

So you've had it with the US or the UK or wherever. I get it. Believe me, SC politics is frustrating, and national politics in the US is even worse. Then the culture, the violence, the consumerism, the arrogance, the bossiness. It's exhausting. I absolutely understand. I'm here to tell you it's the worst reason to leave. Don't run away from things. I'm not trying to be your therapist here, but just don't.

You need to have something you're running toward. Why? Because every place has its problems. I came here because I love it here. I love Belize with my whole heart, but there are big problems. Corruption is rampant, trash is a problem the scope of which I cannot even express, domestic violence is still a big problem, child abuse is far too common, homophobia is widespread, and don't forget insects, snakes, and scorpions. And this is just a start.

Literally a fence made of trash.

And 2 snakes mating in the old yurt.

I am working to help shift those issues, except snakes, scorpions, and insects, nothing I can do about that mess, just like I continue to work to shift things that bother me about the US. The point is this is not problem-free paradise. And whatever other country you love isn't either.

So get some clarity on why you love this place you're going. If you're worldschooling or perma-traveling, get clear on what you love about travel. Make a physical list, in fact. There are gonna be days that you have no clue why in the world you ever thought this would be a good idea. Days you wanna throw in the towel and go back to the 9-5 jam. You're gonna need that list on those days.

Tied right into this is setting down those expectations. Oooooh, I really blew this one. Here's a fun fact. Living in a place is different from vacationing there. Maybe this seems obvious, but really check in with your subconscious. Do you expect the place you're moving to to be perfect? Do you have the smiling faces of people you were handing loads of saved vacation cash in mind? Do you have an image of yourself camped under a palm tree for endless hours drinking rum drinks from a coconut? Unless you're independently wealthy and totally cool with becoming an alcoholic, these images may not accurately represent your life while living there! Do your best to create a realistic expectation. No expectations would be awesome, but is that really realistic?

Well, some days are about drinking under palm trees.

So, focus on what you love about what you're moving toward, but be realistic about what that really looks like. Here are some examples that work for me. I don't expect Belizeans to be perfect anymore. I don't expect to agree with anyone on everything. I'm absolutely ok with most people thinking we’re nuts for unschooling, making kombucha, brewing our own beer, etc. By and large, though, I love this culture.

• ​Its laid back. People don't stress about dumb shit. Whatever happens, whenever it happens, it's all good.

• All body types are loved and seen as beautiful. And women here wear exactly whatever the &$@& they want. Always.

• Sexuality is open here. This is not a puritanical culture, and it's freeing. There are downsides to this, too, but this is mostly a good thing, though it unfortunately doesn't apply to the lgbtq+ community in many cases.

• No one really cares what you do or don't do. Gossip, yes. Actually give a $&@&, no.

• You get to run your own life here. No one tells you how to raise your kids or what food to eat or what to like or not like or do or don't do. It's so liberating. And there's no passive aggressive crap. When people think I'm crazy for homeschooling (we don't even attempt explaining unschooling), they tell me I'm nuts, and we all go on with our day.

• I feel so safe here. I know people say it's violent, but I think those are pretty isolated areas. I feel safe walking at night and worry more about crocs than I do about people. No one is trying to hurt me, and no one is trying to snatch up my kids. Almost everyone here is kind and friendly to me.

As for the place, it's not perfect, but it's damn close.

• It's never really cold. I now feel chilly starting in the mid to low 70s. If it hits the 60s, I'm in long pants and sleeping with a down comforter. It never gets colder than that. Ever.

• The Caribbean Sea. What more can I say?

• Biological diversity. It's stunning. So many species of birds, fish, and well, insects too. Sometimes there are so many frogs at night that you can't hear the person right next to you. And the really cool, sexy animals: rays, whale sharks, monkeys, jaguars, crocs, tapirs, and manatee to start. It's so amazing.

A howler monkey in our yard

• Natural and archaeological wonders: caves, Mayan temples, mountains, rivers, gorgeous barrier reef, mangroves. This country is stunning from one corner to the next. One night I looked out and thought God must have made Belize last. I imagine God seeing what I see and realizing it’s probably not going to get any better than this.

The ruins at Lubuntuun

Sunrise over the Caribbean

So, before this becomes a big Belize tourism ad, I'll stop, but I think it's clear that I love it here. Focus on what you love about where you're going and what you're doing. And when you're frustrated by the challenges, return to what's good. And, yes, I do periodically look at my Facebook feed and feel grateful to not live in the Darth Cheeto madness anymore, but when it gets hard, that would never be enough.