Or are you one of those people who enjoys the solitude?
This is a topic I've been thinking about a lot lately, because I now work alone and have the luxury to stay alone most times. There is also the fact that I want to travel and traveling alone is not always the best option, for one, it's more expensive and two, there is the issue with safety.
I like my own company very much and I prefer doing most things alone and spend time just by myself. I do my best work alone, because I have the full power on everything and I don't have to make compromises. If I wanna sleep in, I can, and if I want to stay up late, I don't have to think about if I'm gonna disturb my companion with my Steeming or cooking or what ever.
Do you need a group of people around at all times?
I know quite a few people who can hardly go to the bathroom alone, let alone to a bar or god forbid, traveling! They need a group meet up and hours of negotiation to reach consensus on the next step to take, this bar or a nightclub, Italian or Chinese food.
For me that sounds like hell and I can not understand why people would choose to have a posse around them from coffee shops to bars and weekend trips. It must be very hard to make everyones timetable match and moods too! I'm very moody and if I don't feel like it, I hate it if I have made a promise to someone that we'd hang out.
Of course I sometimes grave for company too, but I much rather find that group alone and make no promises of whats and whereabouts beforehand. One of the best times I've had with people is when I go to a party alone, find a cool group of people and decide to tag along for some adventures, without having to think that I have some prior engagement with someone.
Do I need someone to share the moments with, or can I be happy alone?
I've done some travelling alone and I intend to do more of it. Sometimes it makes me feel very lonely, sitting alone on a hilltop, watching the sunset. Why would the sunset be any less gorgeous viewed alone, than in a company of someone?
Sometimes I brace myself and travel in company, thinking that okay this is the thing, it's so much more fun, but what I'm often faced with is having my creativity repressed and I get cranky very easily. My bff @escapist already knows that I'm a loner, but we are such close friends that we can manage a 6 day trip in Budapest without killing each other. And of course we'll be sharing a lot of it with you guys, through Steemit! (And make everyone jealous, that is what social media is for, right?
My ideal situation when traveling would be having my own hotel room, but having friend stay in the same city too, so we can hang out at times, and I can also go roam free. Lisbon around Steemfest was great because I took a lot of time for myself, but also ended up hanging around with cool people too, best of both worlds.
I wish some day to find someone who I can share my life with and feel just as good in that company as I do alone. I'm not holding my breath for that...
really inspiring and fantastic pictures! IMO learning how to be alone is critical for happy life!
Nice post.
I'm eagerly waiting for you to make me jealous.
I think it's necessary to have a mutual respect for each others privacy and personal space, it's quite obvious, for me at least. When two loners/introverts or whatever choose to hang out together completely by their own will, those friendships are the most powerful.
Not everyone gets that you should respect ones privacy, just like I don't get why people keep insisting that we should hang out more 😝
You are absolutely right, I value a friendship like that more, than of peoples who are always surrounded by a ton of friends anyways.
The internet seems to be designed for "loners", or at least provides a bit of a connection to other things when we want them.
It really isn't about not liking people, its that in large doses they become too much - we tend to have a lot of things going on in our heads, and when other ideas and idle chatter collide we tend to get annoyed.
I personally do both, submerge into the flow of a crowded place, hang with some friends, but always have my own personal sanctuary to go back to.
I think its best this way. I don't understand people who always have to be super-exuberant about everything - like they were auditioning for a part on television or film.
The kind of people, that when left with a silence - can't close their mouths long enough to enjoy it.
How sad that must be, to never enjoy the calm of just "being".
Thank god for internet, or who ever created it, I should probably know this... google
For me it is about the not liking people too, I'm very picky about my company, at least in long term. I might have fun for a while but I don't want to keep in touch with the majority.
I try to make sure I have a hide hole where ever I go, so that I can escape to it if I'm not feeling too social.
I know a lot of people get anxious when it's silent in the room and there is another person around. There are awkward silences, and then there is just the normal comfortable silence that comes naturally. It's fun when you notice the other person fidgeting in the silence and you yourself feel very calm, inside your own head and thoughts.
I think most people are a combination of introvert and extrovert sides, different parts of your personality. Which means having the need for both alone time and together time. For some people one side is stronger and for others the other side. I personally, have found a good way to balance these sides. I get my personal space and peace from living in a place where people don't come during a big part of the year. But when summer comes the island is filled up with tourists and sailors. Then it's full speed for about 2 months... Another good side of living like this is that you can choose when you want to feed your extrovert side and just go visit some friend. There's a chance it might get a bit hectic when you let loose you inner partybeast but hey..after that I just crawl back to my safe spot :D As you wrote; best of both worlds.
That doesn't sound too bad, being in a quiet island for most of the year. Does your work involve being in contact with the tourist in the summertime? Haha, I know I have that partybeast in me, and when I let it out to play, it can go until 10am the next morning, but after that, it crawls back in it's cave for months.
Confession: I've never visited Turun saaristo...
It's pretty nice :D yeah I run the whole tourism business on the island with a good friend of mine so it's kinda my fault... Okay, when do we get this BEAST-ONCE-A-YEAR-'TIL-10AM-PARTY-CLUB up and running?!? xD
Naah, we are not gonna kill each other. Mostly because we both respect one another's need to be alone. It seems to be very rare to have that respect even in friendships. So, if you didn't already know I value it extremely high.
I think it is awesome that we can say that shut up or fuck off and neither one gets offended. For me that is pure gold.
When we need shut up -time, we'll probably end up chatting in Steemit in the same room and have a great time with that, we fucking weirdos❤️
This is how you make irl people more tolerable. You convert them into internet people!
My master plan is working!
Nice
Seriously I am a person who enjoys the solitude. I love spending my time alone reading my books, watching my favorite documentaries and learning new things. I love to go out with friends sometimes, but prefer to be alone.
I am not scared of being alone, I think I got used to it. But I feel very happy and joyful when I am with my friends. Sometimes we need to be alone to meditate and enjoy our time doing what we love :)
Are you the same way that you really have to be in the mood for going out or you are not going? That is how it is with me, that is I don't like to promise that we'll go out in three weeks from now or something like that.
nice
xxx You Rock Eve keep it un covered . You are not alone the universe with the Sun bows down to you. Look up and smile
Sounds like you're an introvert, which is fine. Most people are social creatures and according to science, interacting with other people is what makes us most happy. But for some, solitude is best and that's OK too.
So beautiful pictures, I think it's ok to be alone but not lonely and cannot agree more on the last tiny sentence 😍
Oh god, yes! I knew I wasn't the only person who just wants to be left alone out there :D I totally feel you! I just met a new colleague at work and she is so dependent on people she refuses to find herself a proper flat and prefers to stay in a hostel in a room with 9 other people. That would be my personal hell.
Of course you can be happy alone, otherwise, you'd be happy with other people. :)
Ahhh, introverts united alone from their own homes via social media❤️🤗
That sounds awful, how is it possible to live like that!? I couldn’t do that for even a day, I’d probably prefer to sleep under a bridge than in a hostel. Okay, I have stayed in a hostel twice, but the whole room was for me and my class mates, but I couldn’t do that for many days.
I have no idea how she does it. She literally told me she needs people. What a strange concept! :D
Hahaha, but you know, the places under the bridges are often also quite occupied with extensive communities of introverts trying to avoid hostels at all costs...:D
What, needs people!? Is she a baby and needs someone to bathe and feed her?
Damn it, you might be right, have to think of another plan if it comes to that!
Well, in her defense, she is one of the most outgoing people I have ever met, so I guess she just gets her energy from being around others. I respect that but it simply doesn't work for me...and other introverts like you :-)
nope, solitude is bliss.
"I wish some day to find someone who I can share my life with and feel just as good in that company as I do alone. I'm not holding my breath for that..."
same here/ good luck with that.
and thanks for ALL your photos, they excellent b
It is not that I can't be alone, but I love the company of my wife, kids and family. Though I can be busy alone while others are in the same room :P
I’m a lone wolf 😎
howling for the full moon
Life is beautifull and full of emotion loves sadness
Some times ups sometimes down its a part of life and we have to enjoy our everymoment of life.
You post are also too good thanks for sharing this with us
Loneliness is a pleasure that few people enjoy, personally I like to spend time alone with my thoughts, where I can relax and if I can admire the stars much better, fortunately I also enjoy the company of my family. God willing and you will find someone to share the walks with and feel full to the fullest as you experience them.
To be alone and to shape one's lifetime in a meaningful way is a thing that is not given to everyone. Although I am married and now have grown-up children, I can't imagine doing anything in my spare time only with my partner. I have enjoyed being alone since my early youth, but I am not a total loner and appreciate company. Through my work as a bus driver I have a lot of irregular free time where other people work and so I am used to spend my free time mostly alone for many years. This can also be an enrichment. But so far I have met very few women who consciously spend their free time alone and I find this a very positive development. On the other hand I can imagine that it is not always easy to travel alone as a woman and many men simply believe that she is looking for a partner. But I take a positive view of this development, because it contributes a great deal to equality between men and women. I hope my text is not too bumpy because I am actually German native language and translate almost all my texts for Steemit ondeepl.com which I find even better than Google Translate. I have already learned a lot of English this way.
Best regards from Switzerland Beat
I have known being alone for very long periods of time and later in life, marriage and family. It was quite a transformation for me, and I stressed out big time in advance. As someone who knows and enjoys solitude, I found my early morning circadian rhythm to be advantageous.
When I want solitude, I go to bed early, get up early and write, write, write. That there is my solitude. And I still have my family to watch them grow up and old with me. It is possible to have both worlds, even in the same house at the same time.
It is probably a question of introversion vs extroversion. Do you feel drained after spending time with people or do you feel energized?
Of course, most people would answer "It depends". The company, your mood, how much time you've spent alone beforehand. I don't want to dismiss the philosophical spirit behind the post, but I feel MBTI could potentially answer some of your questions.
p.s- I suspect you're an ISFP.
I wasn't really asking those questions from myself, I already know the answers.
Lol, your guess couldn't be more far off (edit: okay, not that far off, I do recognise myself on some of those traits). I have done the test and I'm INTP-T, I actually did it again for fun because the last time I did it was 6 months ago and I was in a very different situation back then, but yeah, the same results.
I still think you're an ISFP though. You are scoring as an INTP because of the emergent Ni, your tertiary function. Doesn't really matter, obviously you know yourself better than me. But for the sake of curiousity, the keys2cognition test is more accurate (although most MBTI are shit). Give it a shot. Cheers!
My comment to you in our other thread of conversation, I am actually referring to the Briggs/Myers test. Many people on Steemit seem to be familiar with it. How interesting. I am the INFJ-T.
I've taken it about once per year for the past 3 years, and it always yields the same result.
I was actually going to refer to you this convo but I didn't get that far! :D I knew that you would be INFJ, just from the rarity of it, and the turbulent part doesn't surprise one bit :P
:) We aren't much different. You are a rare one too!
I've found those tests to be rather unreliable and possibly invalid. But they are good conversation starters and occasionally a fun pastime. I find the theory (Carl Jung's theory of personality differences) underpinning them suspect.
My interpretation of what @eveuncovered has told about herself and of what I've seen in her blog is that a) she's clearly more introverted than extroverted, b) she leans toward S rather than N because she is a cook by profession and has photography as her main hobby and rarely discusses any abstract topics, c) I actually have no idea whether or she leans toward T or F based on what she's written and d) she seems more P than J. @eveuncovered knows herself better than any of us but she strikes me as a very strongly introverted but novelty-seeking free spirit.
Yeah, my thoughts exactly.
I think that the life was teaching me to be alone
In the past I already said that too much socializing can drain me. I do not need other people to be happy. I can be quite happy when I am walking the street just by myself or with Lota. Sun is shining? Great. I am happy about that. Birds singing? awesome. Someone is making a barbecue? I enjoy the smell. I see a beautiful lady, interesting shape of a cloud/ tree? all of that is good enough reson to smile and enjoy life. And even if I will not see anything interesting I will still think about my art, recent victory of my favorite basketball club, fascinating story I have read in the book... or I will just smile for no reason at all... possibilities to be happy are practically endless. As long as we do not look for excuses and reasons to be unhappy.
Sometimes I do not speak with my friends for a long time. afterwards we meet and I am happy about that. I enjoy their companionship. We have some fun. Then we once again go on our separate ways. And I do not have any urge to meet with them for quite a while.
That being said I felt a bit strange when I went to a night club during celebtation of new year. But I am not sure what was the reason for that feeling. It was my first time in a night club. I went alone. I did not drink at all. Any of those factors could be a decisive one. Or maybe it was a mixture of them all... Anyway I had a blast that night. Maybe not in a night club but later simply wandering around town at night.
Alone time is very important. It gives you perspective; gives you freedom. There are moments though that you want to share something, for instance, that beautiful scenery, with someone you care.
Sounds like you made good use of your alone time to focus and get stuff done. Excellent.
No.. i am strong enough to live alone....
I think my life is like music. It may not be good music but it still has shape and rhythm. "
You have to be sure that your life flows like a river and rhythmically compose a song. The rise and fall of life is the same as the notes on every song. Those notes will make life more meaningful.
Today, do your best to make the best music series of your life. Do your best and let the world hear it! This passion gives you the motivation to make the best music of life.
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I absolutely understand your point.. I'm traveling alone since a while and it's the best thing I've ever done for me.. but sometimes it's not the best feeling, like you said: you cannot share great moments with others... Nevertheless you can feel them more intensive alone...
Maybe it's the mixture in the end.
Interesting. I think companionship is necessary and being alone is also necessary but always know when the both is needed. For me being alone doesn't make me happy but most times I get inspired and write something down to steem.
Hola, me gustan tus impresiones. Yo pienso que hay que conocerse bien a uno mismo para poder estar en la propia compañía, pasear solo, caminar, pensar, guiar los pasos sin la limitación de otra persona, cambiar el plan, modificar totalmente la bitacora segun surjan las cosas. Hay momentos para la compañia y momentos para la soledad, yo prefiero una puesta de sol en soledad, porque a veces me abruma el paisaje, la inmemsidad y las lagrimas salen solas; en compañía, limitaría mis sensaciones y sentimientos.
Aina jos saan kommentin kielellä jota en ymmärrä, niin vastaan kielellä jota kommentoija ei ymmärrä. Tulee tosi hyvä keskustelu. Täällä on aika ikävä sää tänään, mites siellä? Varmaan aika paljon lämpimämpää. No mut ei muuta kun hyviä päivänjatkoja! :)
I am most definitely a person who enjoys being alone. I can be a total hermit at times, and have to remind myself to reach out and make contact with friends every now and then. I'm a stay-at-home-mom, but that means that I'm actually afforded very little alone time. Basically, my only actual time alone is while my toddler is napping. It can be really draining.
Before having kids I worked in really social industries, which could get really irritating, but I was able to balance it with some really quiet evenings at home, especially when my spouse was working shift work... I kinda loved coming home to an empty house and having no one else to focus on. lol
I'm not certain that ever really changes... if you're an introvert/thrive on solitude, I think you'll always be that way. The trick, I think, is to find someone else who also enjoys doing things by themselves, or has hobbies that are outside of your interests, so you still get a bit of time to yourself.
Normally I prefer to be alone , however recently I fell in love with someone amazing and I can’t imagine him not being in my life.
being alone is great but sometimes i feel lonely 😩 and i need someone to talk with
Hi ! greetings from Venezuela! i like your "ideal situacion" in your post , because in my case i prefer to eat , go to movies, even travel to new places with someone than alone, but we need a time for being alone too. i am a photographer i do know the snow an i liked your pictures traveling in snow...
You Venezuelans must be the most nationalistic people ever, stating in every comment that you are from Venezuela, that’s funny :D
You always have very beautiful shots <3
Solo travel is happy travel. All you need to do is control your mind cos it starts to give up to threats and always stay on a lookout for a second opinion.
Best (say worst) being you have no one for all the shit that happens and well shit always happens.
I rather use mind control on someone else than myself ;)
Nice pictures eveuncovered. I'll be honest, I had posted a comment, and ended up deleting it, because I thought you were ignoring my comments, but I know you are not that type of person.
I admittedly, am bipolar as fuck, and project emotions onto others at times. I must be honest about this aspect of myself. So at times, I come off as a real asshole.
I hope to find that special relationship myself one day. I've been single for about 2 years now, and am still in no hurry to jump into a relationship, for my own reasons. No sense in making a damn blog on your comment feed about it.
If you can be happy being alone, then you are in a secure place mentally. I love my alone time. I just crave that companionship. I don't even know if I could find the right person due to my extremely rare personality type. Who knows. I suppose futuremind will find out in the future...
Keep of the great work @eveuncovered.
What did you say!? 😈😈
I wasn't ignoring you! I have about 10 posts more of less active at the moment, so I'm a little behind on comments and I can not answer to everyone If I would, I would have no time to create new content, and that is what I do here.
I've been happily alone about 6 years, so I must be mentally in a very good place, muahaha. By rare personality, you must mean difficult :P
Yes, basically. I've been taking this personality test for years with the same results. It suggests that less than 1 percent of people are like me... So yeah, I'm difficult to say the least.
I noticed. That's why I thought about it then deleted the comment. I realized I was being selfish not taking everything into consideration.
Basically, that my comments must be of little value to you, and I wasn't going to waste my time to write a lengthy comment for you. Yeah I was being a dick.
Noticed how I answered your questions in reverse?? I did that to be a dick too hahaha
As far as the relationship thing goes, I usually go celibate during my breaks, so 2 years for me is a long ass time, because I don't even do side flings. I think I may need to start though. I can't take it anymore!
Back in the day before I got married I used to travel alone quite a lot. The best part of it is freedom. You may come and go as you please. There is no one complaining or creating a need to compromise. But traveling alone may get a little lonely at times.
That's a very healthy attitude. If you find someone you like spending time with as much as being alone, you should take into account that the quality of your time together will probably be at its best in the beginning. Anyone should know their potential marriage partners as well as possible before taking the decisive step. But it gets worse because people change. And if you have kids, you can kiss your freedom and your money goodbye. There are upsides to having a family, of course, but peace, quiet, freedom and minimal stress are definitely not among them.
As a mom I crave the alone time too. I have always loved being alone. I don't have many friends and kind of prefer it that way, less drama. I usually get up early before the little ones and try and get work done or just sit and enjoy the silence. Well....the last two days I have been joined in my silence with coos and mom, where is my tablet. My baby and either the 4 or 5 year has joined me. Yesterday I woke up eroded to help get a critter out of the dryer tube, let's just say he was grumpy and we fought the rest of the day. So much for my blissful silence :(
The pics are beautiful and I am jealous!
Liking your alone time and then you go and make 11 babies, you crazy person ;) I could lend you a lot of snow and silence, there is plenty of those here!
yeah.......I've been called that a lot :) Oh, it's 10, please don't give eroded any ideas....wait he has already had those ;)
Yes! Please, I accept. That is my favorite part of snow, when it is dark, the moon is the only light, and the silence is so pronounced, its an overwhelming calm. I miss it so much. We don't get a lot of snow here :(
Well then, if it's only ten kids, then you are not crazy ;)
I dig the vibe of the pictures!
When I lived in Budapest for six months I spent my time alone. Once I didn't even speak to anyone for six weeks straight. Till today it was my happiest time ever. Of course one turns odd after a while, but I never really get bored. There's enough fun in my head.
But travelling for about a year in 2017 I did notice, that sharing experiences is really fun. I had a good friend visit me abroad. For three weeks she and I did whatever we felt like. Take trips, swim at the beach, eat out, or just hang out in the bungalow for two days, even though it was a beautiful sunny island. Sometimes we'd discover new corners of the city, or just watch Netflix in the room. We did whatever we felt like and it was intensely fun and pleasing.
When she flew back home I remember sitting in an open space where we would hang out and felt lonely. Although I really prefer being alone, I missed having her around to talk or just stare into the crowd of people.
So ten years ago I'd love being all alone. Nowadays I prefer having someone to share moments, without having to deal with every little issue of the person all the time.
Hm. This sounds like looking for a person equivalent of a unicorn that pukes rainbows.
Anyway, lovely pictures and vibe.