@archwinger- Ha, I love the honesty. Let's see if I can help you. Let's do the easy stuff first: the Wal-Mart equivalent is either a Pali (owned by Wal-Mart) or PriceMart (like Costco).
Beyond that, there are lots of opportunities for you. I'd venture to say that most people that you're describing end up in one of two places: the outer suburbs of San Jose (Heredia, Santa Ana, Escazu) or at one of the nicer beach towns.
I honestly have no idea how much a 2 or more bedroom house goes for in those parts, because they can vary so widely. If lots of ex-pats are in the area, prices get driven up quickly. That being said, I've seen many nice homes like the ones you describe that sell for between $200K and $300K in the town nearest to where I am. Not sure if that's cheap or expensive, based on where you're moving from.
As far as water and electricity goes, that also varies greatly. I'd say that in our small town, it is functional 95% of the time--with occasional water outages during the end of the dry season. My guess is that this would be less of an issue in the suburbs, but possibly more of an issue near the beaches.
For the Internet, the country's come a LONG way in the past five years, since the market became deregulated. It's just as good as North America, IMHO. It costs about $50 per month where we are. Most goods (namely, food) are about the same price as in the States, though if you go to farmer's markets you can get lots of coffee and fresh fruit for much less.
Beyond the costs of a house, the biggest purchase to worry about is a car. The country's taxes on them are astronomical.