I totally understand what you are saying, and you did ask all of us to choose, and I did. You stated you had a point and your co-worker had a point. To say or not to say. Maybe you do not like what I am saying because it was not your side?

She says, it's very important to know what one's intention are before you get upset at them because of something they said that hurt you.

I agree with her. I do not believe she was saying the intention is a "good excuse" but it is something to definitely consider.

I also feel that this is an issue when you state:

in the future by being more careful with everything you say, even when you're joking or just rambling.

I feel the world has become overly cautious and overly sensitive. It is as if we cannot say a damn thing without hurting someone's feelings. This is just my opinion and you did open the discussion up for different perspectives. Right?

I looked through the posts and it looks as if most people who commented seem to agree with your process, so that makes it easy. I am one that does not. It is a different perspective. I am going to stop after this post as it is now feeling more like an argument because I do not share the same.