Why I did a digital detox and deleted my social media

To start things off I want to be clear on one thing. I am not writing this to bash social media as something to be fearful of. I am aware of the benefits and all the amazing technological advances made possible across the world at the tap of a finger. I don't own a T.V. but I still have a smartphone and a computer. This is only to express my concern with the ulterior motives that social media may use to exploit our feelings and need to connect without our knowledge. If you use social media for your business that's great! My only hope is to make the message clear that these apps are free only because YOU ARE THE PRODUCT. Don't believe me? Search up Jaren Lanier's various talks on the subject. Aside from our information being sold to third-parties, the adverse effects EMF's have on your body and blue lights before sleep, the list goes on and on. I want to talk about the long-term psychological and physiological effects that the creators of these product creators use against us. They actually use methods shared by the developers of slot machines! I digress... Social media can be a impactful connector. However, it can also be a distraction or escape.

This journey goes from way back with AOL Instant Messenger (AIM), MySpace and the infant Facebook to the present day network of billions of users daily...

My innocent relationship with the online world started out as sending a discrete message across a DSL connection to a crush while waiting to see the online indicator dot pop up with butterflies fluttering in my belly. After AOL disappeared and Myspace followed closely behind I was in the 7th grade. I would spend absurd hours of the night surfing every conspiracy theory on the web and downloading every free song my iPod would allow while simultaneously burning my favorite CD's. I took everything that appeared on that screen as fact and with a cult-like fervor, unlike any book I had ever read. Eventually, I had every free app available on my phone and so did my friends. It wasn't a part of anybody's conversation online or otherwise to consider these things as addictive. Much like cigarettes, it was quite the opposite. You were missing out if you weren't visible online. Our social credit score was directly linked to our following and image conveyed on the media apparatus. Relationships could be made, strengthened or shattered by the tap of a screen. Our phones quickly became the Achilles heel to myself and my peers from authority figures trying to control our behavior with threats of taking them away, or worse, going through them. It should have been more clear that this was becoming a drug with similar withdrawal symptoms one would feel with a substance.

Fast forward 10 years later and I am a full-blown addict. The panic that would surface from a low battery with no outlet in sight would border on a fish flopping out of water or a vampire exposed to sunlight.

Once I did a bit of research and found that I wasn't alone and that this was a global issue amongst teens especially I found that I could no longer continue living this way now knowing what I had learned. Rising anxiety, depression, loneliness and decreased social intelligence, emotional resilience, and will power can be directly correlated to the social media machine and its fundamentally the users' fault. We keep them in business while they profit off our attention. It's a cycle that is in our power to collapse with action.

I was shielding my insecurities by portraying a version of myself that was always happy and confident meanwhile amplifying those same insecurities by comparing myself to what others were portraying and making the gap grow between me and the life I wanted. Instead of feeling inspired and taking action to follow the goals and achieve that life, the passion would be leached out of me after my first roadblock landing me back into the loop of scrolling through images I felt were only a daydream. With a distraction machine in my pocket I could vicariously live out my aspirations through the lens of others and I didn't feel the need to make it happen in my own life. This was partly due to the fact that the timeline of how long something took to manifest was incongruent with what I found online. I was unable to see the hard work, time, effort, and setbacks that those realities took because they weren't shown to me. I only saw the end products and not behind the scenes. We aren't wired to see things progress that quickly. Things take time.

My detox wasn't cold turkey, it was at times a dragging process that would relapse and then I would have to start from square one. First, I would just uninstall the app I wished to gain control of and so every time I would want to log on I would have to reinstall it. (This I would later find out years later is a method talked about in The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg and The 4-Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss) Thus, putting more steps between me and my undesired habit. Then slowly I would delete the apps completely starting with the less important ones and moving my way up. A tactic I tried at times was to put a sticky note on my phone with a smiley face when I would go to a party because that's where most of my impulse phone checks would arise, in socially awkward situations. This would remind me to take a breath and enjoy my surroundings.

Now it's been long enough without my Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, and Instagram ( I still have Youtube for my independent news and Linkedin for my business. Oh yeah, and obviously Steemit) that I can let you know the benefits of not having the major social media platforms.

I see my reality more clearly without the constant comparison monster always looming over me and I find more contentment in that. What we see online is rarely the full picture and comparison is the thief of joy especially when it's a carefully curated image or video.

I appreciate human to human interaction more. Sometimes we forget that when we type something to someone that there is another human receiving that message. Emojis just don't cut it.

I don't wake up in constant reaction mode checking to see how my posts have done or what I may have missed out on while I was asleep. I recommend you don't use your pocket slot machine first thing when you wake up unless you like the rush of cortisol before your cup of coffee.

I no longer attach my worth or value to what others think of me because I have cultivated a peer group that is actually there for me and not just seeking an elevated presence online. Since I'm not comparing myself I am freer to make the choices I want instead of what I think will invite shallow praise or recognition.

I have more genuine experiences shared with my loved ones without distractions and that allows me to be present. If you ever go out to eat or the bars with friends I challenge you to make the first one to check their phone buy drinks or lunch.

Increased attention span: Instead of living reality where the next dopamine boost was just a swipe or notification away I had to give more prolonged efforts to achieve a longer lasting hit of the reward chemical serotonin or oxytocin.

I have freed up countless hours to do things I actually love and that enrich my life with more skills and experiences to make for a more rich and fulfilled life. On average my usage was around 4 hours a day with over a hundred screen checks a day. That's more than a whole day out of the week devoted purely to my phone! (iPhones have this tracker but I use the Moment app to track my screen time)

I am less lazy. I have to actually make a phone call and arrange a meetup to see my friends. I feel like my social skills and emotional intelligence have strengthened since I have to rely on them more heavily. This, in turn, builds stronger relationships based on real shared experiences, not just a birthday reminder post.

Ultimately, I know we are all on our own journeys but I assure you the world will keep spinning if you aren't plugged in. Maybe an occasional temporary detox is all you need but we definitely don't need social media, if anything, they need us. So let's take the power back and while we're at it let's take our lives back. In this day and age, these companies are in the attention for-profit business with our moods and well-being as the price.

Even if you try it for an hour, a day, a week. You'll be going against the norm and that makes you supernormal.

Peace

~SupernormalSapien