What is in a name?

One often hears of a new baby that was born with the most unusual name, particularly amongst the celebrities.

Examples like “Apple” or “North West”, a child of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, or my favourites, Frank Zappa’s kids named Moon Unit Zappa and Dweezel Zappa. You wonder what were the parents thinking?? Did they consider how the child would be teased or how that name would look on a future marriage certificate or driver’s licence? I have never even listened to any of Frank Zappa’s music, I only know his name from the Deep Purple’s song “smoke on the water”. Anyway, their kids kept their names.

It is nice to have a unique name and lots of parents today are seeking unique names.

Musicians spend a great deal of time working out names for their bands. Names such as Led Zeppelin, Guns and Roses have deeper meanings. I love how Fleetwood Mac got their name; it was to entice John McVie to join the band, by putting some of his name into the new band’s name. Ironically he didn’t join the band at that time. A friend of mine in Springs (a town in Gauteng) was part of a band called “the Radio Rats”, they operated in the late 70’s when I visited Dave Parkin. The vocalist also had the same name, so in order to avoid confusion Dave became “Herbie”, his Dad’s name.

My wife and I always thought about the names. Names had to be chosen even before conception occurred. We would throw names around and see how they felt and sounded. Of course the first born was easy. I always wanted Tanith, no negotiation (a name from a science fiction writer Tanith Lee). Michele never really liked the name so when Tanith was born and I leant in and whispered Tanith Eve, Michele just smiled. We also never found out what the sex of the child was before the birth. So it was always a surprise. The boy’s name was going to be Luke Aaron and that name moved up and up and up, never to be used. The name Tanith did however grow on Michele.

Then the trouble started. Child number two was going to be Stephanie Jade, up till the month before she was born when Michele came to me and said that she would really prefer Shae Emma. Of course I agreed, I loved the names. When child number three was on the cards, we realised that all the girls first names are Gaelic, so we should keep the tradition going and we liked the idea of having the second names all starting with an E and having a religious angle. Gaelic names are strange though, so we struggled to find another one that we could actually pronounce. Kiera Esther was then decided upon. Who would guess a fourth baby girl would be around the corner. This time I was growing weary of thinking of names and one day whilst driving, I said to Michele. Let’s just call her K. Michele said ok, KAY, no I said just the letter K!! Well that did not go down well. Luckily we found Maeve and added Eden, as we were running out of E names in the bible. Elizabeth was already taken by my sister and Michele is very against family names. That was also a strong motivation to stop having kids; too difficult to find “nice” names. I used to tease Michele that my first son would be named Clement the Third (I liked this idea as I used to watch golf and I saw Davis Love III who was a great golfer – I even see now that he has named his son Davis Love IV! How cool is that?). I am sure Michele ensured she would never have a son for that very reason, sheer concentration to get her own way!
I have the same name as my father, Clement Reginald and he was Clement Gerald. His first name was given to remember a Pope with the same name.

(Pope Clement VII - not necessarily the pope my Dad was named after)

I was never irritated by this and now that I am older, I realise what an honour it is to have his name. I am pleased to carry his name forward. The funny thing is that when I was growing up at home, my mother would call both my Dad and me just Clem. Yet we knew exactly who she was speaking to. My friends were amazed and asked how did I know the difference? It was just intuition. I enjoyed joking to my friends that it was quite simple; when she spoke to me her voice was soft and loving but when she spoke to my Dad, it was a screech. When my Dad was alive I was known as Clem Junior, after he died, I became just Clem.

I never really had nicknames like several of my siblings (Topsy for my younger sister – a character found in a book “Uncle Tom’s cabin” and Toonkie for my second youngest brother, my youngest brother was named Moe by my grandfather Lofty as his fringe reminded the Old Man about the Three Stooges where the one character was called Moe. Larry, Curly and Moe). My sister disliked her nickname and insisted on being called by her proper name, Sheralynne. Some kids at school called me “I-nee” after Albert Einstein. I don’t really believe it was because I was smart, I just think the gulf between us reflected poorly on their levels of intelligence! (joke)
I had a nickname in the air force, not appropriate to be recorded here (see my article about “courage” for details). When I am on dangerous ground with my wife, I know I am in trouble when she addresses me solely by my middle name.

Sportsmen have nicknames, especially Afrikaans rugby players, my favourite there was a giant of a man who played in the position of lock. His name? “Vleis” Visagie. Vleis translated means meat.

Black people have cute names when you can translate them and get their parent’s motivation for choosing their names. The first name usually is ethnic and in their own language. They mostly have a second name based on European names, often biblical but old style, like Elias, Methuselah or Enoch.

The most amazing names often are found in Zimbabwe, names like Lust, Avoid, Kissmore, Immigration, Museum and so on. When we learn about the traditions of the various tribes, one can quite easily understand why a particular name was chosen.
One black lady that I worked with was named Pinky. The reason was when she was born she was light coloured and thus she was a pink looking baby. Thus her name Pinky was given. At my current work, the one security guard is named “Doubt”.

When I was still living at home, I used to read a lot of Westerns (about the American Frontier for the ignorant; cowboys and Indians?!?) and I was always interested in famous names such as “Sitting Bull”, or “Crazy Horse”, they sorted General Custer out! The Apache chiefs “Gironimo” and “Cochise” were fearsome warriors and writers such as Louis Lamour wrote wonderful stories.

(Chief Sitting Bull)

Afrikaans people have strong traditions of naming their kids after parents, grandparents, great-grand parents on both sides of the family. Some guys can end up with four or five names.

Even English speaking people can burden their children with many names, for example my mother has three names apart from her surname. We have shortened it to just the initials when speaking about her “JVK”.
My Grandfathers were known as Spuddy (paternal side) and Lofty (maternal side – he was a big man of six foot six inches). The family used to call my Dad, Fruity (the origins were dodgy, his farts used to be smelly. His motto was “let the wind blow free”). I apologise for the rudeness but we are quite an “earthy” bunch.

Names are very interesting, do you know the origins of your name, or the names of your parents and ancestors?

For those of you who are parents, you will know the amount of thought that goes into naming your kids.