Hello everyone! I am called once again to help a friend @artsygoddess. Our friend in #teamgirlpowa discord chat is calling for your help, you can either upvote this post or directly send your SBD to @artsygoddess .All the SBD this post will receive will be sent to @artsygoddess to fix her crown tooth. she was about $200 short of the $900 she would need to get it fixed. Thank you everyone.
Dear my pregnant friend,
When you announced your wonderful news, I hope my discomfort didn’t offend you. I hope you didn’t get distracted by the tear that escaped from the corner of my eye. I’m sorry that I momentarily let my mask fall.
You see, and this is hard to explain, but I am so very happy for you...and yet so incredibly sad for me.
I don’t mean to sound selfish nor do I wish to take away from your joy, I want you to enjoy every second of your miracle and relish every milestone ahead of you. I am rooting for you and cheering you on.
Someday when I feel strong. I will log on to your social media so I can see how you are doing, so I can smile at that ‘glow’ every pregnant woman has. But on my weak days I will avoid you, I will not make eye contact because I am terrified you will see the jealousy that lies beneath the surface. I wish it was me. And I feel guilty for feeling that.
The truly crazy thing is that this won’t change if or when I do fall pregnant again. For I know that the moment you got that positive test you were filled with hope and joy, I remember how amazing that feels...I felt that, right before i was brought crashing back down to earth and the hope was snatched cruelly from me. Now when I get that positive test I will feel anxiety and fear. I will not walk into a scan with a smile.
You are pregnant and preparing for a baby, I will be preparing for a loss. So please, please know that I want you to be happy. I want you to be able to complain about the symptoms you are experiencing and you’re aching back, I don’t want you to stop seeing me completely. I just want you to understand I may distance myself at times...but no matter how distant I am, know I want more than anything for you to be blissfully happy.
A mother of an angel and a friend.
That's me trading on Bitshares DEX
"I'm helping promote Bitshares because I believe Bitshares Network can one day revolutionize how cryptocurrency are used. If you have any Bitshares spare, you too can help me by donating. My Bitshares wallet is doc-mac18 Thank you!"
You are great. Having a baby is such an awesome feelings. i upvoted
Such a raw, bittersweet writing. I love the way you wrote this, the way you exposed the feelings.
Thank you for understanding @thekittygirl. 😞
Aww I am so sorry to hear that, you are truely a good person and I understand how u feel. Keep in believing. My brother and his wife just lost their baby a year ago. The baby's chord choked her to death then her mother had to get C-section for her to survive. She has been very emotional until now but she never stop praying and believing that she'll bring another baby in this world. Always take care of yourself :)
Thank you @earisu.
This is real honesty
I can't say that I understand what your experience was like...
But on a smaller scale, I can relate to being sad for others happiness, because we lost or missed the chance to truly experience what they will, and we are bitterly aware of it...
Just know that doesn't make you a bad person...
This post, if anything, means you are on the long road to healing from your hurt..
I know you will make and will pray for you to one day experience this joy too!
I'm a firm believer of the Universal Principle that Everything happens for a Reason
It may not be obvious or apparent, there's always that what if... doubt that lurks in our hearts and mind when we've been hurt...
But you can also never know what further pains and miseries you might have been spared...
Take it day by day, never beat yourself up, have immeasurable love and compassion for yourself, and if you walk your path earnestly and truthfully, you will find your bliss and happiness one day
Peace and Love,
Hae-Joo