Developing a Resolution

The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.
-Nathaniel Branden

When I decided to have a New Year's resolution, it wasn't because it was the first day of the year. In all honesty, it is just a decision to change. It was a complete coincidence that I set it in stone at the beginning of the year, which let it have a fancy title.

I want to share my strategy for planning my change. In SWAP Series No. 1.0, I explained how I had a plan set out. My plan failed. Part of it was the plan itself, I just don't function the way I had it set out. I also played a part, I used different things in my life as a reason I couldn't get to it. Even though it failed, I will not let that stop me. It just lets me know I need to make a new plan.

My new plan will be in the format of a contract. Sometimes putting something into writing, signing an agreement, or making a statement public can help hold you accountable on a personal level. No one wants people to think badly of them and generally people try to keep their word. In the contract, I will be affirming my resolution in a Statement of Purpose and I will state how my success will be measured in my Definition of Success. Following this I will be laying out my Duties and Responsibilities, as well as Consequences.

Before I write out the contract, I have to brainstorm. I feel like this part of the change is one of the hardest. During the brainstorming session, you must look at your flaws. You have to acknowledge the flaws existence, and you must accept that you have allowed it. After you have accepted the flaws needing to change, you are able to develop a plan to achieve your goals. Although the typed version is not as jumbled as the original session, it is still the same information.

Statement of Purpose

The first thing that has to be determined is the Statement of Purpose. This is where we determine what needs to be changed. You should also decide why the change is needed, as well. You can include multiple topics and sub topics in the section. How much you include is your own decision. You may want to make it extremely specific, or you can leave it a little more open. Either way, the more information you include, the more you learn about yourself and the easier it is to make a plan.

My Brainstorming Session

I need to make more time to focus on the things that reduce my stress and make me feel happy and accomplished.

I enjoy drawing and painting. I have not done more than doodle for at least three years.
I enjoy playing and writing music. It has been over five years since I have made an honest attempt at playing music, let alone writing it.
I do not practice Yoga as often as I would like. I do not feel as if I am actually doing anything for my health. All I am doing is waking up my muscles.
I need to spend more time baking and coming up with my own original recipes. How can I start a business without my own product?
I enjoy writing because I want to, not because it is an assignment. I haven't written more than a contract for kids to use the computer in about a year.

Duties and Responsibilities

Once we know what we want to change, we can develop a plan to accomplish the goal. During this part of the Brainstorming Session, we have to look critically at the strategies we use in life for success. I always start by writing down strategies that have not worked for me in the past. Sometimes if you elaborate, or even simplify, on what didn't work you can find a way that it can. Next I write down any strategies that are known to work. If a strategy is proven to work it can make enacting change that much easier. Finally, I come up with strategies that I have never tried. I like to include at least one of these, by trying it I may find a new technique for achieving my goals. Remember, you are trying to change.

My Brainstorming Session

Things that have not worked.

Planning out what I will work on and when. Sometimes I want to do something else, but I feel required to do what I planned. I do not enjoy it anymore. I feel like it has turned into a chore.
Setting aside a specific day to work on something. My life is hectic and things can change at a moments notice. This idea only seems to vaguely work for school activities.
Integrating activities into the kids activities. When the kids act up, I feel like I have to take something away. When I take an activity I have integrated into my own goals, I have set myself up for failure. In fact, this is going against one of my goals, which includes thinking about myself before others.

Making a new schedule weekly, and acknowledging that it may change. This takes a little extra time, but if I use it as a chance to track my success it serves two functions.
Using free time to work on a something, rather than opening up a game. This takes a little push on my part, because zoning out into a game is so easy. In the end, I am always happy that I decided to do something different, which can be seen as productive.

Integrating the kids into my own activities. Rather than trying to do what the kids are doing, I should let them join me with what I am doing. I have never tried this. I have always been more concerned about the kids doing.

Definition of Success

After we have decided what and why something needs to change and have made a plan to accomplish the change, we need to determine how to be held accountable. This is extremely important. The strategies you use for accountability are what help you define your success. If you do not find ways to be accountable, you cannot track your progress.

My Brainstorming Session

Daily

Posting a blog about an achievement. Show off to everyone a little!
Keep a journal to track what has been done that day. Include the brainstorming process in this. Also if something wasn't completed jot down what was done and still needs done.

Look at what was accomplished for the week. If it was art or music determine if it is complete, if it was a writing project proofread, if it was gardening or cooking journal it.
Transfer important information from handwritten journal to electronic journal.

Look at what was accomplished for the month. Review all blog postings, check journal, review schedules, photograph and review all activities producing tangible products. Determine if there were any setbacks and what could change.

Consequences

What kind of punishment would make you think twice? Use a step system. Start with something that would just make you think about what you messed up, missed, or quit. For the second, find something just slightly more harsh. I have chosen to take something away. Finally choose something that you find the most harsh punishment for the issue. Unless it is extremely important to the health and safety of others, I never give myself a dramatic punishment. I find that it makes me stress about getting things done, rather than motivating me. I think that three levels are a good number, you can always add or remove from this area.

My Brainstorming Session

Public apology - writing a series, if nothing is done there is nothing to post. If I end up with any kind of regular reader I have a commitment to them that is being broken.
No midnight snack - this would be the worst night ever….
No games - this would be detrimental to nights I can't fall asleep. The silly games on my phone really keep me from waking people up by cleaning the house.