Part of me just wants to become a whale
Kill the inner whale and pay the bills and remove the worry and the phone calls. Write the collection agency or the original company you owed and offer them a percentage (50% or whatever you think you can get away with) of what you owe to settle and get them off of your back. Give a sad heart felt story up front. Request that they only reply in writing and to stop calling you from now on. Get everything in writing. Read everything carefully before agreeing to anything.
oh, that's very good advice! I hadn't even considered such a thing! That's a great idea. Some of my bills are absurdly low, like around $175. It's not clear to me how I let it all go........you're right, I need to get my shit in order, so writing sounds like the best way. Thanks.
I see that my "solutions" are not reality-based, as my solution revolves around imaginary worlds in cars........ABSURD!
Be bold with those percentages. I'd have paid much more for the sins of my youth if I hadn't made extensive use of "I could pay 50/70% now, or 10$ a month". The higher the amount and the older the debt, the better the conditions :)